Come back, serotonin, I have cookies.
Fatigued, exhausted, experiencing true muscle weakness, very depressed, full of anxiety but too tired to really worry. Lethargic and slightly apathetic. Brain fogging has led to stupidity. Stupidity has led to remorse and anger at myself. But the sad lack of caring overshadows everything.
I could be facing down a screaming maniac with a knife and I wouldn't care; I would probably distract him, take the knife, and stab him in the throat, because I wouldn't care.
Eventually, I will stop thinking like this.
Right now, I want to curl up in a fetal position and stop caring about anything about myself. When I look in the mirror I am beautiful and colorful and coy and sweet and my skin is glowing. But the main reason I am painting myself brightly and dressing in brighter colors is because I don't feel enough brightness on the inside.
This, too, shall pass.
Time for a shower and a scalp massage, and then to wait for Adam to come home from Chicago late tonight.
I could be facing down a screaming maniac with a knife and I wouldn't care; I would probably distract him, take the knife, and stab him in the throat, because I wouldn't care.
Eventually, I will stop thinking like this.
Right now, I want to curl up in a fetal position and stop caring about anything about myself. When I look in the mirror I am beautiful and colorful and coy and sweet and my skin is glowing. But the main reason I am painting myself brightly and dressing in brighter colors is because I don't feel enough brightness on the inside.
This, too, shall pass.
Time for a shower and a scalp massage, and then to wait for Adam to come home from Chicago late tonight.