Wasn't there a rap song devoted to a woman's ass in a pair of jeans?
Almost none of my jeans or slacks were fitting during this entire Shark Week of bloating. The few jeans and slacks that did fit wouldn't zip or button without insane difficulty, which left me wearing long tee shirts to cover up my open fly.
So my husband was sweet and took me out and graciously bought me a few pairs of pants in a larger size, which I can feel better about. Later, we will look for flowy skirts, because Rugged Warehouse had none. They suggested Burlington's or Marshall's or Ross, etc. But at least I've got some lovely new capri slacks that come to my ankles, and a pair of jeans that, while horrendously gap-tastic in the back, fit just fine with a bloated midsection. Oh, hormones, how I hate you.
Also, hyperlordosis. I hate you too. When I said I was curvy, I did not mean it literally, by which I mean there are no pants anywhere at all that truly conform to my shape without having at least a small gap in the back of the waist. Hyperlordosis is an excessive inward curvature of a portion of the lumbar and cervical vertebral column. It means that my lower spine looks kind of like a weird concave shape from the side and it makes my butt stick out and my abs stick out, so pants of any kind will look funny and I will look funny while walking because even if I pull my hips forward, my ass sticks out. Even if I were to stand up as straight as I possibly could, my ass would still stick out. If I lie down on a flat surface, my lower back can't touch the floor. Also, it fucking hurts.
I really need to start strengthening my hip extensors and hip flexors, which get ignored during major abdominal workouts. Augh.
Ooh, time for a painkiller and a muscle relaxant before I punch something and regret it!
So my husband was sweet and took me out and graciously bought me a few pairs of pants in a larger size, which I can feel better about. Later, we will look for flowy skirts, because Rugged Warehouse had none. They suggested Burlington's or Marshall's or Ross, etc. But at least I've got some lovely new capri slacks that come to my ankles, and a pair of jeans that, while horrendously gap-tastic in the back, fit just fine with a bloated midsection. Oh, hormones, how I hate you.
Also, hyperlordosis. I hate you too. When I said I was curvy, I did not mean it literally, by which I mean there are no pants anywhere at all that truly conform to my shape without having at least a small gap in the back of the waist. Hyperlordosis is an excessive inward curvature of a portion of the lumbar and cervical vertebral column. It means that my lower spine looks kind of like a weird concave shape from the side and it makes my butt stick out and my abs stick out, so pants of any kind will look funny and I will look funny while walking because even if I pull my hips forward, my ass sticks out. Even if I were to stand up as straight as I possibly could, my ass would still stick out. If I lie down on a flat surface, my lower back can't touch the floor. Also, it fucking hurts.
I really need to start strengthening my hip extensors and hip flexors, which get ignored during major abdominal workouts. Augh.
Ooh, time for a painkiller and a muscle relaxant before I punch something and regret it!