Wow.
It's been over a year, and I'm still alive. I kept meaning to update this journal, but life hasn't been easy and I just keep forgetting.
Gracie turned eight this May and was baptized in June. I made her dress! A special day deserves a special dress, and this was as special as I can make it on my limited budget. It's more skill than anything. I made micropiping, did hand tucks and a ton of hand embroidery. There are somewhere around 64 bullion roses embroidered on this dress. It's fully lined with feather stitching on the hems. I also made a hand embroidered slip and a white camisole and matching panties. We do baptism by immersion in my church, and white is transparent when wet, so I relied on layers to prevent wardrobe malfunction.
I did her hair as well. As for the other two, Nikki is now five and starting kindergarten. And guess what? I was asked to teach her class in church, so I now teach the 4-5 year olds in Sunday School! I was terrified at first, but they're a fantastic group of little ones and I absolutely love it. Alex will be starting a special preK program for kids with language delays. He's talking now, but we had a speech therapist coming to my house to work with him for almost a year. According to her, everything else is absolutely normal and there's nothing to worry about--he was just a late talker.
Nothing much else has changed. Jonny lost his job last year because he blew up on a manager and threw a tantrum. Of course, he blames them; the thought that it could possibly be his fault for bad behavior never crosses his mind. He recently got a new one, but he's in danger of losing it unless he straightens up and flies right. I'm hoping and praying that he learns something from this experience.
Last November, Sarah, my baby sister, admitted that she distanced herself from the family so that she wouldn't have to deal with any of the stuff I've been dealing with. She didn't want the responsibility. Y'know, it's funny. Dealing with the three siblings I'm stuck with can be like being in a prison cell because there isn't really a way out. It isn't fair at all that I'm the one who has to be the caregiver. Sarah could easily take at least one of them off my hands. She has the room and the resources that I lack. But she won't do it and there are consequences stemming from that choice. We aren't close. She lives less than an hour away from here and I only see her a few times a year. She only calls when she wants something and ignores calls I make to her. I would take in Jared's kids in a heartbeat, because I absolutely love them. Grace, Nicole, and Alexander might as well be mine. Sarah's kids, though. Nope. I don't really know them at all. I do love them, but it's a more distant, duty-bound love. When her oldest girl turns eight, I probably won't be spending three weeks turning my fingertips into pincushions to make her dress. By now, it's a pretty big chasm that lies between us. I've done my best to keep the lines of communication open because I promised my mother I would. I guess we all have to deal with the consequences of our choices.
I've started writing again, too. It's an old coping mechanism, but it works. I lose myself in story telling to avoid dealing with my present because it's not a great place to be. If y'all would like, I'll start posting it here--Star Trek: Voyager fic.
Gracie turned eight this May and was baptized in June. I made her dress! A special day deserves a special dress, and this was as special as I can make it on my limited budget. It's more skill than anything. I made micropiping, did hand tucks and a ton of hand embroidery. There are somewhere around 64 bullion roses embroidered on this dress. It's fully lined with feather stitching on the hems. I also made a hand embroidered slip and a white camisole and matching panties. We do baptism by immersion in my church, and white is transparent when wet, so I relied on layers to prevent wardrobe malfunction.
I did her hair as well. As for the other two, Nikki is now five and starting kindergarten. And guess what? I was asked to teach her class in church, so I now teach the 4-5 year olds in Sunday School! I was terrified at first, but they're a fantastic group of little ones and I absolutely love it. Alex will be starting a special preK program for kids with language delays. He's talking now, but we had a speech therapist coming to my house to work with him for almost a year. According to her, everything else is absolutely normal and there's nothing to worry about--he was just a late talker.
Nothing much else has changed. Jonny lost his job last year because he blew up on a manager and threw a tantrum. Of course, he blames them; the thought that it could possibly be his fault for bad behavior never crosses his mind. He recently got a new one, but he's in danger of losing it unless he straightens up and flies right. I'm hoping and praying that he learns something from this experience.
Last November, Sarah, my baby sister, admitted that she distanced herself from the family so that she wouldn't have to deal with any of the stuff I've been dealing with. She didn't want the responsibility. Y'know, it's funny. Dealing with the three siblings I'm stuck with can be like being in a prison cell because there isn't really a way out. It isn't fair at all that I'm the one who has to be the caregiver. Sarah could easily take at least one of them off my hands. She has the room and the resources that I lack. But she won't do it and there are consequences stemming from that choice. We aren't close. She lives less than an hour away from here and I only see her a few times a year. She only calls when she wants something and ignores calls I make to her. I would take in Jared's kids in a heartbeat, because I absolutely love them. Grace, Nicole, and Alexander might as well be mine. Sarah's kids, though. Nope. I don't really know them at all. I do love them, but it's a more distant, duty-bound love. When her oldest girl turns eight, I probably won't be spending three weeks turning my fingertips into pincushions to make her dress. By now, it's a pretty big chasm that lies between us. I've done my best to keep the lines of communication open because I promised my mother I would. I guess we all have to deal with the consequences of our choices.
I've started writing again, too. It's an old coping mechanism, but it works. I lose myself in story telling to avoid dealing with my present because it's not a great place to be. If y'all would like, I'll start posting it here--Star Trek: Voyager fic.