The possibility of it happening are slim to none, and yet it did

[brighteyesihave]

This world is so small its crazy. The fact that the circle gets bigger and comes back to me really irrates me. I wish I could just break away, because as long as I stay in this fanatic ungodly social structure I'm just going to go insane. Such moral decay and the unveiling of true character, so grotesque in that light. I want to hide, shield my

Comments

[anonymous]

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I just filled up like four fucking boxes of song writing and shit to this one!! Rrrraahhh! And twice, the internet kicks me off and It's gone, all those freaking diferent ways I was going to show you relflections of your'e greatness and the hero motief I see in youre personality to be flowered in your'e defeate, poof! The spin on rap which reverses it's negative media implantations and the part where I express your'e glowing motherfuckin gift that would bring light to others poooooooooooof!
Oh, ladies now I get it allitle more. The great heavy sighs of dissapointment and a feeling of loss for an expression never heard, and b most importantly I captured...held, the beauty in the female image that forever holds even the painful memories even to her own end, how much she does for us! and her desire to see that she has made a posative reflection in the world, that she could even let it go, if just she knew. And the ironic fear which perpetuates the forelonging unfolding of this shining beauty, That is right there just waiting. oh that I could be there when it hits you! I'm close now, I can feel this one, the forever longing of holding on to somthing while you watch it fade away. The pain you carry. And yet I am directly repelled by somthing, that is telling me it's not my feeling. Why if I Am feeling it, can't I associate this with myself, It's always called me. Look I'm saying that I feel it! and yet, it's just not clicking. It's the strongest sadness I know, and still I deny it, or I'm just having to find it in other people for some reason?

luke

p.s. so much condensed personality aboud, so relative.

[anonymous]

also i know i have written things which would seem to directly correlate to this sort of circumstance in a similar way, but the feeling which I am able to associate with myself has not the same sadness?

luke

[brighteyesihave]

You have a love for people and analyzing them, do you not? Or actually you use others reflections and reflect them onto yourself? I am trying to understand what I don't know. Your posts have snapped me back to reality, the fact that what I write can be read by those I don't know. Hence the name "livejournal," I feel oblivious as to not have been more careful before. I try to be general in my thoughts and feelings, not to pinpoint names. It is not to hard since feelings are pretty general in the first place, it's what causes them that may show differences. Unfortunately I seem to rapidly change from happiness to doubt to fear to ultimate insanity. Happiness is fleeting although we seem to all try to hold on to even though we should have let go of it a long time ago. Regret is a horrible thing. If we don't regret how do we learn then? Am I making any sense? It's all relative when it comes to emotions, there is no judgement. If someone feels something, they feel it. There is no right or wrong. Do you think we can train ourselves not to feel pain? Hault ourselves from falling in love? Is there such thing as a wall and is it important to live our lives and at the same time protect ourselves? So many odd questions, life can never be answered.

what? is looking back

[anonymous]

Good digging I ... see I has a lot in common. Yes to feel ones own emotion is one thing but... what of another.

I will write more

p.s. oh and I realize questions lead to the reavealing of perspective. If I had all the questions...hmmm hm. But words do me what feeling? A bubble some may live in. Internal existance wraped in a fear of self expression. But concerning all of this fear, could it be??? Oh could it be, we don't want to see the blindness of internal falsity.

luke

Re: what? is looking back

[brighteyesihave]

Its a fact we fear what we do not know, and what we do not know within ourselves fears us also. Its the discovery of what was not seen before that surprises me. I never really realized how dark of a person I can be unless something brings out the worst in me. Or how great I can be in a comfortable and wonderful situation. I guess its all mind over matter, my personality needs work. That's obvious. What do you mean by "internal existance wrapped in a fear of self expression?" I just don't want to be afraid anymore.