I hate it
when my mother goes on her stupid house cleaning rampages. Then she comes and attacks me because my room is not clean enough...she should go take a look at hers and then get back to me. Hers has been a mess since 1996, but since I am the child I always have to have a neat room. All this is going on while my father watches his new obsession....football. He's gotta watch it every sunday, and monday nights. My father was never into football until now.
They have a lot of annoying habits. Here goes:
Mom:
- makes weird noises when she drinks anything
- drinks her coffee too fast, makes annoying sound while doing it, looks annoying while doing it
- has accent especially when shes agravated
- curses like a sailor...picked it up from Isabel
- hates anything intellectual
- shes a pervert
- says shes going to start showing the house we live in to prospective buyers (all of a sudden they want to move to CT so that isabels school will be cheaper)
- thinks that I want to get married
- thinks that I want to get away from her (hold on...that IS very true)
- tries to control me as if I was still the same little girl I once was
- is a closet homophobe (aka its ok for gay people to exist, but its wrong for them to do what they do, and its wrong for any of her daughters to be gay...oh but its ok to be friends with them)
- is racist ( but shes hispanic with a really ANNOYING accent....its ok to be friends with black and asian people...just dont date them)
- menopausal
Dad:
- no imagination
- too smart...tries to show off, comes off like an asshole in the process
- does not understand my generation
- only talks about stuff he likes to talk about, there is no discussing anything he does not like
- eats those annoying weight watchers sandwiches while playing on stupid workout device as he watches CNN or some war documentary
- says random shit all the time
- tells me I'm fat (meanwhile he's got too many grey hairs)
- thinks hes always right
- diva
- eats too much gum, spits it out while driving
- picks his nose in the car
They both however have one thing in common....they are sick of me. I do not understand them. I nearly did not come home for a whole year. Nearly got a job in Puerto Rico, but they convinced me not to. Said that I needed guidance, that I did not know what I wanted...that they did not support me staying in Puerto Rico. So they make me come home for what? So that I can enjoy having a hard time finding a job in NY? So that they could "help me" when in reality they do not do a thing? So that they can yell at me constantly?
I missed them when I was in PR, but now I am begining to dislike them a lot. I avoid conversation/seeing them as much as possible. Theres all this talk about moving, theres all this talk about fixing the house. By fixing the house they mean...carmen clean your room...and we will just sit here and eat our weightwatchers food while you do that. I can't wait to have a job, I can't wait to have enough money to do my own thing, I cant wait until some day in the far off future I get married and have my own place. In the mean time....I'll do this:
You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.
No.
Explanations.
1. Yourself: DEPRESSED
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend (spouse): WILLIAM
3. Your hair: SUCKS
4. Your mother: MENOPAUSAL
5. Your Father: DIVA
6. Your Favorite Item: CAMERA
7. Your dream last night: NIGHTMARE
8. Your Favorite drink: SODA
9. Your Dream Car: INFINITY
10. The room you are in: MINE
11. Your Ex: CHEATER
12. Your fear: PARENTAL-CONTROL
13. What you want to be in 10 years?: HOT
14. Who you hung out with last night?: FRIENDS
15. What You're Not?: HAPPY
16. Muffins: CORN
17. One of Your Wish List Items: NOTHING
18. Time: MANMADE
19. The Last Thing You Did: ARGUE
20. What You Are Wearing: SWEATS
21. Your Favorite Weather: SUNNY
22. Your Favorite Book: SPANISH
23. The Last Thing You Ate: CHICKEN
24. Your Life: ANNOYING
25. Your Mood: MAD
26. Your best friend: WILLIAM
27. What are you thinking about right now?: FUTURE
28. Your car: PRIUS
29. What are you doing at the moment?: TYPING
30. Your summer: WORK
31. Your relationship status: TAKEN
32. What is on your TV?: NOTHING
33. What is the weather like?: FREEZING
34. When is the last time you laughed?: TODAY
They have a lot of annoying habits. Here goes:
Mom:
- makes weird noises when she drinks anything
- drinks her coffee too fast, makes annoying sound while doing it, looks annoying while doing it
- has accent especially when shes agravated
- curses like a sailor...picked it up from Isabel
- hates anything intellectual
- shes a pervert
- says shes going to start showing the house we live in to prospective buyers (all of a sudden they want to move to CT so that isabels school will be cheaper)
- thinks that I want to get married
- thinks that I want to get away from her (hold on...that IS very true)
- tries to control me as if I was still the same little girl I once was
- is a closet homophobe (aka its ok for gay people to exist, but its wrong for them to do what they do, and its wrong for any of her daughters to be gay...oh but its ok to be friends with them)
- is racist ( but shes hispanic with a really ANNOYING accent....its ok to be friends with black and asian people...just dont date them)
- menopausal
Dad:
- no imagination
- too smart...tries to show off, comes off like an asshole in the process
- does not understand my generation
- only talks about stuff he likes to talk about, there is no discussing anything he does not like
- eats those annoying weight watchers sandwiches while playing on stupid workout device as he watches CNN or some war documentary
- says random shit all the time
- tells me I'm fat (meanwhile he's got too many grey hairs)
- thinks hes always right
- diva
- eats too much gum, spits it out while driving
- picks his nose in the car
They both however have one thing in common....they are sick of me. I do not understand them. I nearly did not come home for a whole year. Nearly got a job in Puerto Rico, but they convinced me not to. Said that I needed guidance, that I did not know what I wanted...that they did not support me staying in Puerto Rico. So they make me come home for what? So that I can enjoy having a hard time finding a job in NY? So that they could "help me" when in reality they do not do a thing? So that they can yell at me constantly?
I missed them when I was in PR, but now I am begining to dislike them a lot. I avoid conversation/seeing them as much as possible. Theres all this talk about moving, theres all this talk about fixing the house. By fixing the house they mean...carmen clean your room...and we will just sit here and eat our weightwatchers food while you do that. I can't wait to have a job, I can't wait to have enough money to do my own thing, I cant wait until some day in the far off future I get married and have my own place. In the mean time....I'll do this:
You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.
No.
Explanations.
1. Yourself: DEPRESSED
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend (spouse): WILLIAM
3. Your hair: SUCKS
4. Your mother: MENOPAUSAL
5. Your Father: DIVA
6. Your Favorite Item: CAMERA
7. Your dream last night: NIGHTMARE
8. Your Favorite drink: SODA
9. Your Dream Car: INFINITY
10. The room you are in: MINE
11. Your Ex: CHEATER
12. Your fear: PARENTAL-CONTROL
13. What you want to be in 10 years?: HOT
14. Who you hung out with last night?: FRIENDS
15. What You're Not?: HAPPY
16. Muffins: CORN
17. One of Your Wish List Items: NOTHING
18. Time: MANMADE
19. The Last Thing You Did: ARGUE
20. What You Are Wearing: SWEATS
21. Your Favorite Weather: SUNNY
22. Your Favorite Book: SPANISH
23. The Last Thing You Ate: CHICKEN
24. Your Life: ANNOYING
25. Your Mood: MAD
26. Your best friend: WILLIAM
27. What are you thinking about right now?: FUTURE
28. Your car: PRIUS
29. What are you doing at the moment?: TYPING
30. Your summer: WORK
31. Your relationship status: TAKEN
32. What is on your TV?: NOTHING
33. What is the weather like?: FREEZING
34. When is the last time you laughed?: TODAY