these days id just rather suffer from insomnia

[brighteyedsurfr]

I go to bed thinking about him, i dream about him, and i wake up thinking about the dream i had... and id give anything just to go to bed one night.. and not dream about him. Its just too hard.. and i dont even wanna try to analyze it.. all i kno is every dream i have had for the past month has had him in it... it focuses on him and her.. and me.. and i wish it wuold stop.

I would honestly rather just hardly sleep than have to be constantly thinking about him. im so stupid... this whole thing is sooo ridiculous! I just cant wait for college.. to find new guys.. to find good guys. I'm ready to leave it all behind and just find new people. I mean.. it would be one thing if these dreams i am havnbg actually came true.. but lets face it.. shes beautiful.. and they seem to be falling in love! So i gues si should be happy for him!

I was just kidding myself anyways.. he'll never actually settle down.. and i want to marry youn.. and have kids young.. but it just sucks that im running out of time to find the one im meant to be with! :-\

so for now.. i just want him out of my dreams.. so that i can make new ones!