(no subject)
my boyfriend went crazy and is now my ex. i love him, but his expectations of me are unrealistic at times. i would never cheat, ever, but that doesn't mean i am not going to be attracted to others. its human nature.
that said, i am always most attracted to him, so i don't really see what the problem is. why should i love him, though, when he is bring so fucking cruel? i guess this past year was just a lie (him lying to me and not the other way around).
i'm trying so hard not to cry, but i don't know if it is better to sob uncontrollably and feel like a loser or hold it in and feel like exploding. i don't want to cry for him, not after the way he ended things. i want to be mad, to hate him, to burn all his shit, but all i can do is hope he comes back.
i suck.
on top of it all i think i am getting sick, probably from the stress.
that said, i am always most attracted to him, so i don't really see what the problem is. why should i love him, though, when he is bring so fucking cruel? i guess this past year was just a lie (him lying to me and not the other way around).
i'm trying so hard not to cry, but i don't know if it is better to sob uncontrollably and feel like a loser or hold it in and feel like exploding. i don't want to cry for him, not after the way he ended things. i want to be mad, to hate him, to burn all his shit, but all i can do is hope he comes back.
i suck.
on top of it all i think i am getting sick, probably from the stress.