you will
i slipped again, and getting up is harder as you get older. especially when you resist assistance.
i hate sleeping during the day more than most things but like most things i hate, i do i do i do.
or actually often i dont.
work is getting tiresome yet therapeutic, or whatever. i made a face out of cheese on the ceiling.
someone took it down and i was unhappy about it because i was very attatched to that piece of cheese.
but then i thought "its okay, there is much more cheese here and i could make a whole crowd" but i guess its just a piece of cheese and if i made a crowd id be wasting more time than cheese and in times like these its not wise to waste cheese.
i can not afford to miss another class this year but i dont want to go to some of them because they make me feel overwhelmed. like history classes, there is so much god damn history. the world is big and old and all that shite and so no matter how much i learn i wont know anything comparatively and thinking like that makes you feel small. i am small.
i want to write but i hate writing because it is very inconsequential when you change your mind as much as i do. point, counterpoint, beggining point and no ending point. circles and squares and whatever you think there is either no point or so many that they cancel each other out. i am a hypocrit afterall.
i think i need to get out of wilmington. all i really do here is wait around.
i was helping smith with his video game math homework and he was bitching about there being no crew anymore and i agreed that since every has moved all over that there is no spot anymore for everyone to meet and so the times we've had here in the past are impossible to recreate, like after graduating high school, things never repeat or reoccur the same and so now there is no positive result to anything we've done other than talking about it over beers. and thats exhausting.
everything ive written up to this point is alluding to the all to clear conclusion that i have nothing to write about or to say and even if i do then i am not able to present that information in any sort of way without being cliche or annoyingly dull and/or confusing. fucking a.
i hate sleeping during the day more than most things but like most things i hate, i do i do i do.
or actually often i dont.
work is getting tiresome yet therapeutic, or whatever. i made a face out of cheese on the ceiling.
someone took it down and i was unhappy about it because i was very attatched to that piece of cheese.
but then i thought "its okay, there is much more cheese here and i could make a whole crowd" but i guess its just a piece of cheese and if i made a crowd id be wasting more time than cheese and in times like these its not wise to waste cheese.
i can not afford to miss another class this year but i dont want to go to some of them because they make me feel overwhelmed. like history classes, there is so much god damn history. the world is big and old and all that shite and so no matter how much i learn i wont know anything comparatively and thinking like that makes you feel small. i am small.
i want to write but i hate writing because it is very inconsequential when you change your mind as much as i do. point, counterpoint, beggining point and no ending point. circles and squares and whatever you think there is either no point or so many that they cancel each other out. i am a hypocrit afterall.
i think i need to get out of wilmington. all i really do here is wait around.
i was helping smith with his video game math homework and he was bitching about there being no crew anymore and i agreed that since every has moved all over that there is no spot anymore for everyone to meet and so the times we've had here in the past are impossible to recreate, like after graduating high school, things never repeat or reoccur the same and so now there is no positive result to anything we've done other than talking about it over beers. and thats exhausting.
everything ive written up to this point is alluding to the all to clear conclusion that i have nothing to write about or to say and even if i do then i am not able to present that information in any sort of way without being cliche or annoyingly dull and/or confusing. fucking a.