(no subject)
Thing I figured out today-
#1-Romantic guys only exsist in movies
#2-Trust friends more then your boyfriend/girlfriend
#3-Never let a guy fuck you within 3 days of knowing him
#4-NEVER let yourself trust anyone who hasn't given you reason to
#5-If you fall inlove don't take the leap of faith it always eventually fucks up
#6-To go with #1 romantic things only happen to rich girls & girls in movies.
Well today was the regular shit filled Sunday. I have zero faith in anything. I don't have faith in love, Joe, my friends, my family, NOTHING.
Right now it feels like I'll never be happy around Joe again.
I hate who I am.
The Joe thing is starting to get more confusing.
I wish it was like when we first met.
Or we atleast did something besides fuck.
I wish it was like the first time we had sex.
I was so happy because he just wanted to lay there next to me.
I've never had that after sex.
Now it's like he wants to get as far away as possible after sex.
I'm sick of myself & I don't know how to change.
I'm stuck.
Theres no way of getting out of this.
Wish in one hand shit in the other see which one fills up first.
I fucking hate this.
But I love him.
I've never been inlove with anyone before...so I can't complain much.
& would never bitch & complain to him.
Sometimes I'm not sure if thats good or bad.
Good because he doesn't have to deal with knowing I'm constantly worried.
Bad because half the stuff I'm worried about maybe he should know.
I wonder if he ever gets worried he'll lose me?
I highly doubt it.
He knows how much I love being around him.
Kissing him.
Sleeping next to him.
I love everything about him.
So why should he be worried?
Besides Joe isn't the kind of guy who really cares what happens.
I'm mean that in as good a way as it can be.
He just lets shit happen.
Which is good I guess.
But I love Joe:)
I'm happy right now even though today sucked.
I might getta see Joe after school if he ain't busy so that's another good thing:)
Goodnight,
Spooky
#1-Romantic guys only exsist in movies
#2-Trust friends more then your boyfriend/girlfriend
#3-Never let a guy fuck you within 3 days of knowing him
#4-NEVER let yourself trust anyone who hasn't given you reason to
#5-If you fall inlove don't take the leap of faith it always eventually fucks up
#6-To go with #1 romantic things only happen to rich girls & girls in movies.
Well today was the regular shit filled Sunday. I have zero faith in anything. I don't have faith in love, Joe, my friends, my family, NOTHING.
Right now it feels like I'll never be happy around Joe again.
I hate who I am.
The Joe thing is starting to get more confusing.
I wish it was like when we first met.
Or we atleast did something besides fuck.
I wish it was like the first time we had sex.
I was so happy because he just wanted to lay there next to me.
I've never had that after sex.
Now it's like he wants to get as far away as possible after sex.
I'm sick of myself & I don't know how to change.
I'm stuck.
Theres no way of getting out of this.
Wish in one hand shit in the other see which one fills up first.
I fucking hate this.
But I love him.
I've never been inlove with anyone before...so I can't complain much.
& would never bitch & complain to him.
Sometimes I'm not sure if thats good or bad.
Good because he doesn't have to deal with knowing I'm constantly worried.
Bad because half the stuff I'm worried about maybe he should know.
I wonder if he ever gets worried he'll lose me?
I highly doubt it.
He knows how much I love being around him.
Kissing him.
Sleeping next to him.
I love everything about him.
So why should he be worried?
Besides Joe isn't the kind of guy who really cares what happens.
I'm mean that in as good a way as it can be.
He just lets shit happen.
Which is good I guess.
But I love Joe:)
I'm happy right now even though today sucked.
I might getta see Joe after school if he ain't busy so that's another good thing:)
Goodnight,
Spooky