Today's letter to a dear friend
I hope you're trip to eastern Idaho was restful and good. If you hadn't been out of town, I would have invited you to spend Monday snowmobiling with my dad and I (his suggestion). Instead, my mom decided to join us at the last minute. We enjoyed a sunny day on Soldier Mountain.
School continues to stress me out. For every good moment, there's at least a moment that calls for head-pounding. I often wonder what other vocations might better suit me. The refrain is always, "Is this type of job really sustainable for me?" The answer is nearly always no. I'm not organized enough. I struggle with planning. I am, however, pretty darn good at managing a room of adolescents. And I do believe I bring a lot of goodness into their lives. Right now I am just stressed and tired. It's nothing new.
I wonder how I will find the time to broaden my social horizons. I would love to find other queer women to socialize with. It is a gap in my life that I'm not really sure how to fill.
Dar and Patty still await us. In a moment of weakness last week, I added another DVD to that list: John Gorka's 2-DVD release. It seems like the kind of mood I need to settle into these days. I feel as though there is some thing, some feeling, I am trying to recreate in my life. Maybe it's a slower pace. Maybe it's a certain connection. I'd like to think I will stumble upon whatever it is, but I'm not holding my breath.
Four weeks remain until spring break. I'd like to get away somewhere for at least a night or two. A quiet cabin in the woods sounds heavenly - the company of good books and a warm quilt to surround me, modern conveniences left behind. This might be one of my more realistic yearnings as of late.
We should make plans. I have a class on Saturday, but possibly that night or Sunday? A movie at the Flicks would be good. West Wing would be more than acceptable. I'm not really in the mood to laugh, just sit in good company and feel at home. I'm open for evenings next week as well.
School continues to stress me out. For every good moment, there's at least a moment that calls for head-pounding. I often wonder what other vocations might better suit me. The refrain is always, "Is this type of job really sustainable for me?" The answer is nearly always no. I'm not organized enough. I struggle with planning. I am, however, pretty darn good at managing a room of adolescents. And I do believe I bring a lot of goodness into their lives. Right now I am just stressed and tired. It's nothing new.
I wonder how I will find the time to broaden my social horizons. I would love to find other queer women to socialize with. It is a gap in my life that I'm not really sure how to fill.
Dar and Patty still await us. In a moment of weakness last week, I added another DVD to that list: John Gorka's 2-DVD release. It seems like the kind of mood I need to settle into these days. I feel as though there is some thing, some feeling, I am trying to recreate in my life. Maybe it's a slower pace. Maybe it's a certain connection. I'd like to think I will stumble upon whatever it is, but I'm not holding my breath.
Four weeks remain until spring break. I'd like to get away somewhere for at least a night or two. A quiet cabin in the woods sounds heavenly - the company of good books and a warm quilt to surround me, modern conveniences left behind. This might be one of my more realistic yearnings as of late.
We should make plans. I have a class on Saturday, but possibly that night or Sunday? A movie at the Flicks would be good. West Wing would be more than acceptable. I'm not really in the mood to laugh, just sit in good company and feel at home. I'm open for evenings next week as well.