blue
i haven't felt this sort of bad in a while. a long while.
i have 2 puppies now. chuska and blue. blue is tiny and cuddly and soooo soft.
it is difficult to form meaningful relationships. it is difficult for me.
maybe i don't know how to do things right and easy. maybe i have to make them wrong and hard to get through.
and maybe the person who knew me best - who i thought knew me best - ruined me.
it is more likely, though, that i ruined myself. i didn't mean for that to happen.
it's snowing here. blue is lonely and sad because chuska stayed at the vet to get fixed.
i'm supposed to be healed. i am not.
so many things are smooth and fine right now. other things are just bubbling under the surface.
blue and i will keep eath other warm tonight.
i have 2 puppies now. chuska and blue. blue is tiny and cuddly and soooo soft.
it is difficult to form meaningful relationships. it is difficult for me.
maybe i don't know how to do things right and easy. maybe i have to make them wrong and hard to get through.
and maybe the person who knew me best - who i thought knew me best - ruined me.
it is more likely, though, that i ruined myself. i didn't mean for that to happen.
it's snowing here. blue is lonely and sad because chuska stayed at the vet to get fixed.
i'm supposed to be healed. i am not.
so many things are smooth and fine right now. other things are just bubbling under the surface.
blue and i will keep eath other warm tonight.