(no subject)
I guess it's a good thing if the biggest problem in our relationship really has nothing to do with us and has to do with our friends (one in particular) being assholes (sometimes). But then again, it's REALLY big problem that's severely impeding my ability to enjoy this for what it is. I'm NOT a PDA person (as we all know), but I have a really hard time telling him to stop touching me around other people. Since when am I the one to annoy people by being cutesy and coupley? Sometimes I wish they would all go away and leave us alone. I've forgotten how difficult it is having your boyfriend be an integral part of your group of friends, and having your group of friends be so close that they know about everything that you do. I want to know how Mike and Robin do it so perfectly...on a related note, I need to stop idealizing their relationship and trying to be like them.
Also impeding pure joy is knowing that Jason is depressed as fuck and sending my suitemates drunken text messages about how much he misses me. I don't like being the source of pain.
Overall spring break was really fun. I don't need to go into the details, but we went to Chicago and Wisconsin, and had a good time going to water parks, ice skating, walking on frozen lakes, getting schwasted, going to museums, eating way too much junk food, and enjoying the hotel's gigantic bed.
Maybe this is just me when I find myself in a tight group of people, because this happened in high school too. I'm starting to get really anxious about my place in the group and whether I add something of if anyone would miss me if I wasn't around. And I get especially freaked out knowing that people are talking about me when I'm not there, which has been shoved in my face since this whole Danny-Jason drama. When Danny or Robin tell me what other people think about the whole thing, I realize that people are talking about it and I start dying to know what they say and how they say it. It's really hard for me to accept that people care about me, apparently. Especially when they have strange ways of showing it. Every joke I say that falls flat or thing I do that gets talked about, I worry that I'm on the verge of getting kicked out. We always talk about the "closeness of the floor" and for some reason I always hope (but never KNOW) that I'm a part of that group of people.
Maggie Hanley really fucked me up.
Also impeding pure joy is knowing that Jason is depressed as fuck and sending my suitemates drunken text messages about how much he misses me. I don't like being the source of pain.
Overall spring break was really fun. I don't need to go into the details, but we went to Chicago and Wisconsin, and had a good time going to water parks, ice skating, walking on frozen lakes, getting schwasted, going to museums, eating way too much junk food, and enjoying the hotel's gigantic bed.
Maybe this is just me when I find myself in a tight group of people, because this happened in high school too. I'm starting to get really anxious about my place in the group and whether I add something of if anyone would miss me if I wasn't around. And I get especially freaked out knowing that people are talking about me when I'm not there, which has been shoved in my face since this whole Danny-Jason drama. When Danny or Robin tell me what other people think about the whole thing, I realize that people are talking about it and I start dying to know what they say and how they say it. It's really hard for me to accept that people care about me, apparently. Especially when they have strange ways of showing it. Every joke I say that falls flat or thing I do that gets talked about, I worry that I'm on the verge of getting kicked out. We always talk about the "closeness of the floor" and for some reason I always hope (but never KNOW) that I'm a part of that group of people.
Maggie Hanley really fucked me up.