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I used to pride myself on being able to get all my school shit done but also having the time to go out and have fun and not let it consume my life or my identity. But for some reason, this semester is kicking my ass. It's like a constant stream of work that hasn't let up since October and is only going to get worse through December. For each thing I scramble through, there's 2 more waiting. My friends are saying that they haven't seen me enough, and many of them are taking way more credits than I am. I also feel kinda bad because when I'm not working I'm so tired that I just want to watch a movie (usually with Jason but not necessarily) and go to sleep. This is not the college experience I wanted, and it wasn't like this last year. Really though, if I wasn't in philosophy, it would all be okay. It wouldn't be perfect, but it would be manageable. And Give Thanks Give Back really just has the worst timing ever. And the guy at the Career Center just made me more frustrated with life. "Well, if you want to find an internship, first figure out where and then find a company that interests you." DUH, MOTHERFUCKER. He made it sound like it was so easy. My problem has always been that there's so much I can do but none of it interests me, and that means it's never going to work out no matter how much work I put into it. I don't KNOW where I want to go and I have even less of an idea of what I want to do. So my solution was to spend the better part of an hour in the fetal position on my bed. Like I said, this is not what I wanted to happen with my life this year. I love WashU but right now it's stressing me the fuck out and not in a normal school way that I've learned how to handle. I feel like screaming.