This started out as something else ... then I got my ass kicked.
You know what sucks about patience?
Being Patient
Of course, the result of not being has been evidenced throughout my past. I have always suffered the curse of instant gratification .. and it has cost me.
I know I'm in the home stretch .. everything I want and will have will come to me soon .. but damn is it tough playing out these last few moments .. waiting. Every avenue and arena of my life has been on hold for months .. and I've been confident, calm, collected, and optimistic.
I have been rewarded for my (yes admittedly, at times, shaky) stoicism, and I would be a greater fool than I already am to deny that it has paid off.
I feel as if I have the strength and endurance to see these last few weeks of the year though .. once the new year rolls around everything should be finished, and I should be free of everything that I have burdened myself with in this last .. (and no matter what anyone thinks, I played a part, through action, or inaction, even with positive intent in everything that has happened, great or small) .. however ..
There is a doubt.
That I may have failed in the greatest thing that I have been aspiring towards. That impatience might have cost me that which I value the most.
So I suppose that I should learn my lesson .. and be patient. If it is the right thing for me to do, and to have, then my mistakes from the past will be absolved, and everything will work out perfectly.
The phrase "No good deed goes unpunished," comes to mind. Makes me wonder if the vice-versa holds true. Also makes me wonder what ultimately defines a deed as good, or not .. or is it all merely subjective?
Another ideology teaches that you can have anything you want, without constraint. I wonder if my views are flawed .. and my need for patience is only a self-imposed limitation.
Every mistake is made for a reason. If you look deeper .. and analyze the reason behind that mistake .. you tend to find out that oftentimes it wasn't a mistake at all. But you can act in a manner that may not have been a mistake, but you aren't proud of the result of your actions. So you can either wallow in guilt ..
Or let it strengthen you, and realize that it wasn't a mistake at all. It was just your spirit kicking your ass into gear, because you didn't have the balls to do it consciously ..
Time to go buy myself a beer with my last few dollars. I've got someone to thank for a few well-deserved ass-kickings.
And I can be patient until pay day.
Being Patient
Of course, the result of not being has been evidenced throughout my past. I have always suffered the curse of instant gratification .. and it has cost me.
I know I'm in the home stretch .. everything I want and will have will come to me soon .. but damn is it tough playing out these last few moments .. waiting. Every avenue and arena of my life has been on hold for months .. and I've been confident, calm, collected, and optimistic.
I have been rewarded for my (yes admittedly, at times, shaky) stoicism, and I would be a greater fool than I already am to deny that it has paid off.
I feel as if I have the strength and endurance to see these last few weeks of the year though .. once the new year rolls around everything should be finished, and I should be free of everything that I have burdened myself with in this last .. (and no matter what anyone thinks, I played a part, through action, or inaction, even with positive intent in everything that has happened, great or small) .. however ..
There is a doubt.
That I may have failed in the greatest thing that I have been aspiring towards. That impatience might have cost me that which I value the most.
So I suppose that I should learn my lesson .. and be patient. If it is the right thing for me to do, and to have, then my mistakes from the past will be absolved, and everything will work out perfectly.
The phrase "No good deed goes unpunished," comes to mind. Makes me wonder if the vice-versa holds true. Also makes me wonder what ultimately defines a deed as good, or not .. or is it all merely subjective?
Another ideology teaches that you can have anything you want, without constraint. I wonder if my views are flawed .. and my need for patience is only a self-imposed limitation.
Every mistake is made for a reason. If you look deeper .. and analyze the reason behind that mistake .. you tend to find out that oftentimes it wasn't a mistake at all. But you can act in a manner that may not have been a mistake, but you aren't proud of the result of your actions. So you can either wallow in guilt ..
Or let it strengthen you, and realize that it wasn't a mistake at all. It was just your spirit kicking your ass into gear, because you didn't have the balls to do it consciously ..
Time to go buy myself a beer with my last few dollars. I've got someone to thank for a few well-deserved ass-kickings.
And I can be patient until pay day.