Make-shift
Life is unbearable, and, at this point, absolutely useless. I don't do shit; the reasons behind all this shit that I don't do eludes me. Why can't I just sit down and do my work. I'm turning into an idiot. Nothing productive has been accomplished so far, in fact I haven't done shit for the past three. High school is going to kill me, and more importantly my college career. This is my junior year and anyone reputable college is beginning to look out of the question.
I want to leave and all Mom can say is "You're running." Well of course I am. Yes, France would be wonderful no matter what, but at this point I just need a fresh start. Yeah there are things here that make me happy, but I'm not happy with myself anymore.
Fuck. If I do nothing else this year it will be to work my ass off in classes (academics and dance) I want lose my GPA completely. If I don't get educated then I'll never get shit.
Why do I want to grow up so badly when my responsibilities will only mean more.