Over here when something happens over there
A little over a week ago my brother had a very serious motorcycle accident. His body is very broken. The doctors at the Trauma Center put him into a medically-induced coma in order to stabilize him so that his heart and lungs could handle the strain of the needed orthopedic surgery (or surgeries). He lost a lot of blood that first couple of days. It was uncertain whether he would live or die. It took a full week before the surgery to repair his pelvis (and legs) could be done. He's still in the medically-induced coma but I understand that they are about to start bringing him around. I cannot even imagine the shock it will be for him to grasp all that has happened, all that will happen, how much his life has now changed. If his heart and lungs keep working he's facing a lot of physical therapy.
If I were still living in Florida I would have been in a car pretty quickly to be there with my family during this really tough week. I could have arranged my work in such a way that someone else could cover the less vital stuff and I could have driven the six hours back and forth as needed. I could have flown that distance in an hour.
But I don't live in Florida.
How do we who live "over here" make that tough decision to go "over there" when something tragic happens? I imagine we all have our own criteria, our own circumstances that make it easier or harder. And nobody "over there" can possibly understand the mental anguish the decision creates.
I asked my dad to help me know. And I think his advice was wise. "Right now you could only sit with us in the waiting room. Your brother isn't conscious and isn't going to be conscious for awhile. If you need to come home I promise I will tell you, but in the meantime you can support me (and your mom) best by being available by phone."
So that's what I did. That's what I'm doing.
I wish I could be there by plane in an hour. By car in six. But that is not my reality. I can be present via telephone. It's not really ideal, but it's realistic. It's hard and I'm sad about it.
But I'll be there (on an already planned visit) in a few weeks, and it is, for me, some comfort to know that I'll be there to hug my family and to talk to my brother.
I love my family. From over here. For now.
If I were still living in Florida I would have been in a car pretty quickly to be there with my family during this really tough week. I could have arranged my work in such a way that someone else could cover the less vital stuff and I could have driven the six hours back and forth as needed. I could have flown that distance in an hour.
But I don't live in Florida.
How do we who live "over here" make that tough decision to go "over there" when something tragic happens? I imagine we all have our own criteria, our own circumstances that make it easier or harder. And nobody "over there" can possibly understand the mental anguish the decision creates.
I asked my dad to help me know. And I think his advice was wise. "Right now you could only sit with us in the waiting room. Your brother isn't conscious and isn't going to be conscious for awhile. If you need to come home I promise I will tell you, but in the meantime you can support me (and your mom) best by being available by phone."
So that's what I did. That's what I'm doing.
I wish I could be there by plane in an hour. By car in six. But that is not my reality. I can be present via telephone. It's not really ideal, but it's realistic. It's hard and I'm sad about it.
But I'll be there (on an already planned visit) in a few weeks, and it is, for me, some comfort to know that I'll be there to hug my family and to talk to my brother.
I love my family. From over here. For now.