Hello darkness my old friend..
Today wasn't as bad as I expected it to be. Which is weird since today I found out I almost failed my final global paper, and I wrote about two conflicts on my thematic when I was only supposed to write about one, therefore I most likely failed that essay as well. Awesome. But with all that happening I walked home with a big smile on my face, which was very odd. There is a lot else going on that I don't care to mention as well, since no one cares.
Oh well, I know I will be happy again soon.
It sort of feels good to be an upperclassman now. On the other hand it is just another step toward graduating and that is something I am not looking forward too since I do not want to grow up and deal with all the responsibility. I also deffinately do not want to deal with the stress of SAT's and all that other college bullshit. It's funny I say it is bullshit but in reality it means a lot to me. Grades in general mean alot to me, and I've done horrible this year. It's depressing how bad my grades have changed since I got into the highschool, particulary this year. I always thought I was smart but I don't exactly think that way anymore. I tried to take a bunch of advanced classes to make myself feel really smart but I did horrible in Global IIa and I regret it because all it did was lower my self confidence a lot. I honestly think I tried as hard as I could, I was stressed all year, and what did I get out of it? Absolutely nothing. I still feel really stressed even though it's all over. I'm just afraid I'm not going to go to a good college, therefore won't get a job and in return never be happy and successful in life.
I regret many choices I made this year, and I wish I could go back and change everything.
P.S.- I'm going to miss Mr. Lilly alot.
Oh, and I apologize for this long, stupid entry.
Oh well, I know I will be happy again soon.
It sort of feels good to be an upperclassman now. On the other hand it is just another step toward graduating and that is something I am not looking forward too since I do not want to grow up and deal with all the responsibility. I also deffinately do not want to deal with the stress of SAT's and all that other college bullshit. It's funny I say it is bullshit but in reality it means a lot to me. Grades in general mean alot to me, and I've done horrible this year. It's depressing how bad my grades have changed since I got into the highschool, particulary this year. I always thought I was smart but I don't exactly think that way anymore. I tried to take a bunch of advanced classes to make myself feel really smart but I did horrible in Global IIa and I regret it because all it did was lower my self confidence a lot. I honestly think I tried as hard as I could, I was stressed all year, and what did I get out of it? Absolutely nothing. I still feel really stressed even though it's all over. I'm just afraid I'm not going to go to a good college, therefore won't get a job and in return never be happy and successful in life.
I regret many choices I made this year, and I wish I could go back and change everything.
P.S.- I'm going to miss Mr. Lilly alot.
Oh, and I apologize for this long, stupid entry.