A new decade and all that.
Like others, I had not really processed that we are starting a new decade on Friday. The naughties have certainly been filled with the roller-coaster ride from hell, including, but not limited to: two divorces, one amicable, one I'm still regretting not being more of an asshole about, two marriages, one of which was pure insanity on my part, the otehr of which was the inevitable consequence of the healthiest, kindest, most fun relationship I've ever had in a long an somewhat seamy history of relationship drama, three career changes, and hey lookie, I'm right back where I started in 1994, several abortive musical activities, some of which I have enjoyed more than others, moving across the country, for the sole purpose apparently of meeting Crystal, becoming a dad by marriage and by the more biological method, rediscovering my pagan identity, finding my specific spiritual/religious path, finding a faith, living through parenting failures and celebrating a few successes, watching as my health has declined noticeably and being very far away from what feels like home. I've watched good friends find themselves. I've watched others lose themselves. I got to participate in some history, though I never bought into the hopes of the True Believers in our president.
I find that after a decade of upheaval and instability, which has certainly been the occasion for a lot of growth, I am tired and ready to be done for a while. I've done a lot of work and feel justified in wanting to simply reap some of that harvest of knowledge and wisdom that I have supposedly been sweating blood and tears to gain. I'm ready for some things to come easy and without too many hidden clauses. I am ready for and deserve some prosperity, some ability to take care of myself a little better so I can be there more for my loved ones, including the divine ones.
I'm certainly saner and I believe wiser than I was ten years ago. I have a better handle on what makes a good relationship for me and how I can be a better partner. I am in the relationship I intend to have for the rest of our shared lives. My beloved is a remarkable woman who never sees her own beauty as I do, and I'm looking forward to many, many years of being her mirror. That's a chore I take on with gladness. The children we have are sources of frustration an joy. Watching the older ones try out their wings, and crash and burn more often than soar is an exercise in teeth-gritting self-restraint more often than not.
I feel like I have drawn in my feelers this last year. People who I once saw on a fairly regular basis, I haven't seen in several months, or have only seen during the recent birthday and holiday parties. 2009 was a rebuilding year, an examining the foundations year, and alas this left less energy to direct outward, except in some very specific directions of need. I miss the interaction, but I couldn't have participated in it fully anyway.
So, here's to the teens, and to 2010 in particular. here's to a year where I finally put all the lessons about my own worthiness, business practices, marketing, taking good care of myself and being available to help others find their own inner healers together to make A Touch of Reverence a prosperous and worthy endeavor that makes the world a better place and amply fills our rice bowl. here's to another ten years of growing love and really fabulous adult time with my sweetie. Here's to the successful transition between parent-child and parent-adult child relationships with our two older children. Here's to the fun of watching the younger ones find themselves. Here's to a world that is a little saner, kinder and more rational. Here's to all entities, gods, spirits, kame, souls or whatever that work to make it so. Here's to learning to teach my craft.
And here's to all of you who read this. May you find blessings large and small that seek you out, or that have been hiding under the sofa all along. May the best of all your dreams come true, including not forgetting to dream new ones. May your feet find the path, may the path find your feet, and may you continue to grow into the large, beautiful beings you all are. May each of you be the only ones to impose limitations on yourselves. May each of you choose your own law and pay the price. And in sum, may 2010 and its decade bring you all the things that the naughties failed to do or took away from you.
I find that after a decade of upheaval and instability, which has certainly been the occasion for a lot of growth, I am tired and ready to be done for a while. I've done a lot of work and feel justified in wanting to simply reap some of that harvest of knowledge and wisdom that I have supposedly been sweating blood and tears to gain. I'm ready for some things to come easy and without too many hidden clauses. I am ready for and deserve some prosperity, some ability to take care of myself a little better so I can be there more for my loved ones, including the divine ones.
I'm certainly saner and I believe wiser than I was ten years ago. I have a better handle on what makes a good relationship for me and how I can be a better partner. I am in the relationship I intend to have for the rest of our shared lives. My beloved is a remarkable woman who never sees her own beauty as I do, and I'm looking forward to many, many years of being her mirror. That's a chore I take on with gladness. The children we have are sources of frustration an joy. Watching the older ones try out their wings, and crash and burn more often than soar is an exercise in teeth-gritting self-restraint more often than not.
I feel like I have drawn in my feelers this last year. People who I once saw on a fairly regular basis, I haven't seen in several months, or have only seen during the recent birthday and holiday parties. 2009 was a rebuilding year, an examining the foundations year, and alas this left less energy to direct outward, except in some very specific directions of need. I miss the interaction, but I couldn't have participated in it fully anyway.
So, here's to the teens, and to 2010 in particular. here's to a year where I finally put all the lessons about my own worthiness, business practices, marketing, taking good care of myself and being available to help others find their own inner healers together to make A Touch of Reverence a prosperous and worthy endeavor that makes the world a better place and amply fills our rice bowl. here's to another ten years of growing love and really fabulous adult time with my sweetie. Here's to the successful transition between parent-child and parent-adult child relationships with our two older children. Here's to the fun of watching the younger ones find themselves. Here's to a world that is a little saner, kinder and more rational. Here's to all entities, gods, spirits, kame, souls or whatever that work to make it so. Here's to learning to teach my craft.
And here's to all of you who read this. May you find blessings large and small that seek you out, or that have been hiding under the sofa all along. May the best of all your dreams come true, including not forgetting to dream new ones. May your feet find the path, may the path find your feet, and may you continue to grow into the large, beautiful beings you all are. May each of you be the only ones to impose limitations on yourselves. May each of you choose your own law and pay the price. And in sum, may 2010 and its decade bring you all the things that the naughties failed to do or took away from you.