i dont know

[bridgetsp3aks]

but i really do not understand why i feel physically sick every time i see her/them. it's not like i want to feel this way at all. i'd rather not care at all (thank you very much). i literally become nauseous and light headed. there HAS to be some reason why i can't control my emotions. it's all psychological.

i shouldn't be spending my last days as a junior waiting for each day to end so i don't begin to feel sick.