(no subject)
I love you and I'm sorry I'm a bitch, it just feels like two summers ago again where I didn't feel important anymore or worth any time, and that's especially hard now because there aren't too many left here, you know? And if we're really going to be friends until we're wrinkly and boring, which I hope to god we are, then I should get used to the fact that plans are broken and people sometimes spend more time with other people, because people is people is people! But I want to play, and I promise I won't be a bitch, okay?iloveyou.
and as far as you are concerned, I am just too confused right now. I spent weeks denying it, telling myself that you would come around and speak to me again. Then I gave up. I still missed you, but I moved on. And now you want to talk? How am I supposed to do that? How do I pretend that you're the same as you were before, or that I still have the faith in you to believe what you say? When someone moves on from someone else they try to bury the good, for at least a little while, so that they can only see what else is left. That perspective hasn't left you sitting in the best light. Oh- and what would us being friends mean in regards to the other two who deserted me, hmm?
On a happier note, my mother is taking me shopping tomorrow. We don't have a lot of money right now, but I think she realizes how thinly I've been stretched as of late and wants to say thank you for that. I ended up taking a sort of mental health day today because I didn't sleep at all last night, thanks largely to how the court case went (long story) and how depressed she was due to that. It's tough when my mother tells me shes suicidal and doesn't want me to sleep or even leave the room, you know? I also think the shopping might have to do with saturday being valentine's day. I'm sure that eventually valentine's won't be shitty, but it would be our anniversary and I'm allowed to be a bit sore over that. But she and Dave are going out on saturday, so she's giving me a bit of cheering up before hand.
which brings me to my next point; PLEASE HANG OUT WITH ME ON VALENTINE'S DAY. AS OVER HIM AS I AM I STILL DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE FOR THAT, KTHBAI. we can go out and ignore the day entirely, or perhaps have a gory movie marathon to celebrate our hate of anyone who is content in a relationship? Hmmmm?
and as far as you are concerned, I am just too confused right now. I spent weeks denying it, telling myself that you would come around and speak to me again. Then I gave up. I still missed you, but I moved on. And now you want to talk? How am I supposed to do that? How do I pretend that you're the same as you were before, or that I still have the faith in you to believe what you say? When someone moves on from someone else they try to bury the good, for at least a little while, so that they can only see what else is left. That perspective hasn't left you sitting in the best light. Oh- and what would us being friends mean in regards to the other two who deserted me, hmm?
On a happier note, my mother is taking me shopping tomorrow. We don't have a lot of money right now, but I think she realizes how thinly I've been stretched as of late and wants to say thank you for that. I ended up taking a sort of mental health day today because I didn't sleep at all last night, thanks largely to how the court case went (long story) and how depressed she was due to that. It's tough when my mother tells me shes suicidal and doesn't want me to sleep or even leave the room, you know? I also think the shopping might have to do with saturday being valentine's day. I'm sure that eventually valentine's won't be shitty, but it would be our anniversary and I'm allowed to be a bit sore over that. But she and Dave are going out on saturday, so she's giving me a bit of cheering up before hand.
which brings me to my next point; PLEASE HANG OUT WITH ME ON VALENTINE'S DAY. AS OVER HIM AS I AM I STILL DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE FOR THAT, KTHBAI. we can go out and ignore the day entirely, or perhaps have a gory movie marathon to celebrate our hate of anyone who is content in a relationship? Hmmmm?