(no subject)

[bridgeswillfall]

Is it considered running away if you're 23? my dad and i got in an argument last night (what else is new), i cursed at him and he hit me. He hasn't hit me in a couple of years but this on top of the verbal abuse i get from him...i've had it! I'm treated like crap by him, he thinks that he has always been some wonderful father, he's never been anything more than some guy to me who i have to call dad. I'm finally at my breaking point and i no longer want him in my life. I packed a small suitcase and after work today i'm going straight to my cousin diane's from there i have to figure out where i'm going next and what i'm going to do. the next time i go back to that house will only be to get the rest of my stuff. the 2 of them are nothing more than some drunk assholes...sorry for tha language i'm just way too worked up right now to try to even clean it up. I've had to deal with friends in the past who when they meet think of nothing but how nice they are and can't understand my problem with them. You know what they haven't had to grow up with them...especially with him..with the abuse, they're nice to people who are not their family...to us though..that's a different story. It's all about control with them. You know what the stupidest thing is..last night's argument started over the fact that i had not swept or mopped my floor in the bedroom good enough...as he says.. it wasn't to his specifications. and i wasn't going to be allowed the car to go to my grandmother's last night. I'm sorry am I 23 or am i 12? I get confused sometimes! I really don't know what i'm going to do now, other than hop around for a little while but i can never go back there. He can go back to jail for all i care and you know what i don't doubt that at some point he will. Going to temple almost everday doesn't wash away the sins you continue to commit every night and when you're not there.

I haven't felt this depressed or lost since i was in highschool, but i think i'm stronger than i was back then...because if i wasn't i never would have had the guts to leave.