(no subject)
It's 2:13am and I'm supposed to be up in 2 hours to go to the airport. Just can't sleep, why can't I ever sleep? I think too much. My anxiety always gets the best of me. Have you ever felt like you have so many words to say to and can't say any of them? For most, I wouldn't even know where to start.
I still cry almost every night with feelings of loss and guilt. Earlier today I told my dad today that I wanted crab and artichokes for dinner when I got home, and even said I haven't had them in such a long time without even thinking. Then I remembered the last time I had them. It was my dad's birthday and it was the last time I saw my mom. She was so proud of me for following my dream and moving here. I wish I could hear her voice again. Every time I think about it I feel like I'm being punched in the chest and I can't breathe. I just wanted to see her get better and live a normal life, and that never happened. Why didn't that ever happen? I'm tired of crying.
I still cry almost every night with feelings of loss and guilt. Earlier today I told my dad today that I wanted crab and artichokes for dinner when I got home, and even said I haven't had them in such a long time without even thinking. Then I remembered the last time I had them. It was my dad's birthday and it was the last time I saw my mom. She was so proud of me for following my dream and moving here. I wish I could hear her voice again. Every time I think about it I feel like I'm being punched in the chest and I can't breathe. I just wanted to see her get better and live a normal life, and that never happened. Why didn't that ever happen? I'm tired of crying.