(no subject)
Had passover dinner at Jeri's Grandma's house! It was great and delicious! I love that I'm not even jewish and I'm been to like 5 passover dinners through out the years. Mostly with jenna of course :) I like Bayside, it's a very nice part of nyc. Kinda suburby like long island! Anyway, it's great to be around Jeri and her family because even though it's not my family,her grandmother treats me like a grand-daughter. She kept telling everyone that I was going to be on American Idol :) Good day today, evening though it was raining. Sarah made me realize that Seasonal affective disorder totally comes out of people up here. So I'm glad that it was rainy, yet I was happy.
Another good thing, everyone has been commenting on how thin I look, score! I don't notice cause I look at myself everyday, but it's nice to feel like I'm getting back to the weight I'm used to. I was getting a little chunk before I left tally, maybe the antiboitics or maybe it was the crap I was eating with everyone, but hey whatever I'm doing up here seems to be working.
I'm also beginning to adjust to living here. My life was so overwhelming for the first few months I was here. I left everyone I knew and loved to come to a huge city, then got a new job, started a new school and then mom my passing just made everything weigh down on me even more. I wasn't able to get over one thing because I think I was trying to push everything down and get over it all at once. I've finally had some acceptance lately, but also I've learned that there are some things that I need to not think about or see while I'm doing some healing. I cleared my schedule on sunday morning so I can start going to church because I feel like even though I'm not super religious it may be a place where I can talk to people, make friends and at the same time learn a bit about my self and the mourning etc. It's going to be a contemporary church because the last thing I want to do is join a church where I feel like I'm going to be judged be the people there. Don't want to deal with the fake bs if ya know what I mean.
Anyway, I like writing in here again. It gives me an outlet for my thoughts and I don't even really think many people still read stuff on here except for a few of my friends. So that makes it easier to actually say what I'm feeling instead of trying to be careful of what I say, like on a fb status or something. Well goodnight for now :)
Another good thing, everyone has been commenting on how thin I look, score! I don't notice cause I look at myself everyday, but it's nice to feel like I'm getting back to the weight I'm used to. I was getting a little chunk before I left tally, maybe the antiboitics or maybe it was the crap I was eating with everyone, but hey whatever I'm doing up here seems to be working.
I'm also beginning to adjust to living here. My life was so overwhelming for the first few months I was here. I left everyone I knew and loved to come to a huge city, then got a new job, started a new school and then mom my passing just made everything weigh down on me even more. I wasn't able to get over one thing because I think I was trying to push everything down and get over it all at once. I've finally had some acceptance lately, but also I've learned that there are some things that I need to not think about or see while I'm doing some healing. I cleared my schedule on sunday morning so I can start going to church because I feel like even though I'm not super religious it may be a place where I can talk to people, make friends and at the same time learn a bit about my self and the mourning etc. It's going to be a contemporary church because the last thing I want to do is join a church where I feel like I'm going to be judged be the people there. Don't want to deal with the fake bs if ya know what I mean.
Anyway, I like writing in here again. It gives me an outlet for my thoughts and I don't even really think many people still read stuff on here except for a few of my friends. So that makes it easier to actually say what I'm feeling instead of trying to be careful of what I say, like on a fb status or something. Well goodnight for now :)