I said no
I'm proud of myself. I was assertive today. I had a bad feeling about my new co-worker at the cafe from the first time he worked with us a few weeks ago -- just too smarmy, outgoing in a creepy way. He consistently stands a little too close and is too friendly. He's married, but that doesn't reduce the creep vibe one bit.
This morning I turned around and he had just arrived, and he gave me a half hug ("Hello!") and a quick little kiss on the neck.
Now, I have a history with bad men who start by sneaking kisses on the neck. I was too taken aback to respond immediately, but when he came back from hanging up his coat I told him clearly that I wasn't comfortable with that. He apologized and thanked me for telling him it bothered me. He said people are more demonstrative in Israel where he's from. Maybe, but neither my Israeli roommate nor my other Israeli co-worker (both very sweet men who I like a lot) have any problems with personal boundaries.
He's on my watch list. Maybe casually outing myself as a lesbian will help. That's tricky be cause we are always very busy and the customers are never more than three feet away. But at least I'm lucky enough to live in California where they can't fire me for being out.
This morning I turned around and he had just arrived, and he gave me a half hug ("Hello!") and a quick little kiss on the neck.
Now, I have a history with bad men who start by sneaking kisses on the neck. I was too taken aback to respond immediately, but when he came back from hanging up his coat I told him clearly that I wasn't comfortable with that. He apologized and thanked me for telling him it bothered me. He said people are more demonstrative in Israel where he's from. Maybe, but neither my Israeli roommate nor my other Israeli co-worker (both very sweet men who I like a lot) have any problems with personal boundaries.
He's on my watch list. Maybe casually outing myself as a lesbian will help. That's tricky be cause we are always very busy and the customers are never more than three feet away. But at least I'm lucky enough to live in California where they can't fire me for being out.