You can call the goddamn fire department.
On why you should never let someone talk you into crawling out of bed around midnight and going to a hipster bar with wall-to-wall bodies to hear a band that sucks. On why you should always wear makeup, even if you're thinking, Hey, it will be dark in there. Why do I need bronzer and blush? On why you should never brag about your shooting abilities or the fact that you have your marksman certification, particularly not while on the Lower East Side. On why you should never fib about your age, even by a year, because on film, it will be clear that you're a big fat liar. On why you should always smile in photos, lest you look like some smug New York bitch.
Beware, you have been warned. This could be you. (Scroll down.)
Beware, you have been warned. This could be you. (Scroll down.)