VENI - PROLOGUE
Title: Veni
Author: a_m_a_t_u_s
Rating (this chapter): PG, just to be safe.
Summary: Contention. Dan remembers nothing. Ben remembers everything. Written in Dan's POV.
Warnings: Possible spoilers to the movie, but not in this chapter. Also, eventual slash between Ben and Dan. But that's nothing warn-worthy for you guys, right?
Words: 597. I'm disgusted with myself.
Disclaimer: If 3:10 to Yuma belonged to me, it'd be a little bit more like Brokeback Mountain. Relationship-wise.
White.
Whitewhitewhiteprettywhitewallscrackswhite.
I wake up and I see white.
It's terrifying.
Scary.
White.
It takes me a second/minute/hour/day to realize that I'm not truly awake, that I'm still asleep. There are cobwebs in my mouth and hunks of wood where my lungs are supposed to be. When I breathe, I breathe in sand, not air. My head hurts and I want to go back to sleep. I want to be Sleeping Beauty. I want to stay in a glass coffin in the middle of the forest and never wake up again.
***
My eyes open.
The first thing I see is a boy, a boy who's sleeping and who looks older than he probably really is. He has black hair and dirty skin, and he's wrapped up in a blanket. It hurts to keep my eyes open, because acid is pouring into my sockets and trying to get me to close them again, and I'm tempted to do that right there but I think that would be an awful choice. So I don't, and I look at the boy, and I don't know what to do right now.
I decide to speak.
"Hi."
I know he's sleeping, because his breathing is even. It's useless trying to speak. My breath tastes stale in my mouth and I want to puke, but I don't. I don't hurl because that's bad. I'd stain the sheets and people would be upset with me because I made a mess. I don't want to have people upset with me. Not even a boy asleep with a blanket around him.
My bones hands try to move. They move like the air weighs a ton. My fingers reach out for the boy, but I can't reach them. I lean my head on the back of my pillow and try to relax, to die breathe. Boy is still asleep. Must find way to make him up.
I try to sit up but I'm held back. My body is worth a million pounds but is the size of a baby's fingernail. I feel like something will rip open. It's probably me. And then the juice and the pieces and the pain and the glass shards will spill out of the hole of me. Then I'll be okay. Then I'll go back to sleep.
"Pa?"
Boy son says. He's my son. I try not to look surprised and let a smile cross my features. It pulls at my lips and makes me tired. I'm tired. I could just get my heart to stop beating go back to sleep. Try not to make it harder for myself, for boy son. He's seen me, though. I am that poor deer left behind by its herd who has to deal with either a group of men or a jackal. I don't know which one I'd prefer, and it scares me.
"Hi."
And that's it.
That's all I have to say and Son's eyes water, and they're a pretty little shade of blue, and I wonder if those are my eyes, because I don't know what Me looks like. Son is crying and I can see his body beginning to move, and he leans over and grabs my bones hands and sobs on me. He weighs more than a fucking house, but I don't mind. I let him crush me because I think that's the right thing to do. I don't know who he is, but this is probably the right thing to do.
"Pa, oh, pa, I'm so glad you're okay..."
I tune out, and go back to sleep.
Author: a_m_a_t_u_s
Rating (this chapter): PG, just to be safe.
Summary: Contention. Dan remembers nothing. Ben remembers everything. Written in Dan's POV.
Warnings: Possible spoilers to the movie, but not in this chapter. Also, eventual slash between Ben and Dan. But that's nothing warn-worthy for you guys, right?
Words: 597. I'm disgusted with myself.
Disclaimer: If 3:10 to Yuma belonged to me, it'd be a little bit more like Brokeback Mountain. Relationship-wise.
White.
Whitewhitewhiteprettywhitewallscrackswhite.
I wake up and I see white.
It's terrifying.
Scary.
White.
It takes me a second/minute/hour/day to realize that I'm not truly awake, that I'm still asleep. There are cobwebs in my mouth and hunks of wood where my lungs are supposed to be. When I breathe, I breathe in sand, not air. My head hurts and I want to go back to sleep. I want to be Sleeping Beauty. I want to stay in a glass coffin in the middle of the forest and never wake up again.
***
My eyes open.
The first thing I see is a boy, a boy who's sleeping and who looks older than he probably really is. He has black hair and dirty skin, and he's wrapped up in a blanket. It hurts to keep my eyes open, because acid is pouring into my sockets and trying to get me to close them again, and I'm tempted to do that right there but I think that would be an awful choice. So I don't, and I look at the boy, and I don't know what to do right now.
I decide to speak.
"Hi."
I know he's sleeping, because his breathing is even. It's useless trying to speak. My breath tastes stale in my mouth and I want to puke, but I don't. I don't hurl because that's bad. I'd stain the sheets and people would be upset with me because I made a mess. I don't want to have people upset with me. Not even a boy asleep with a blanket around him.
My bones hands try to move. They move like the air weighs a ton. My fingers reach out for the boy, but I can't reach them. I lean my head on the back of my pillow and try to relax, to die breathe. Boy is still asleep. Must find way to make him up.
I try to sit up but I'm held back. My body is worth a million pounds but is the size of a baby's fingernail. I feel like something will rip open. It's probably me. And then the juice and the pieces and the pain and the glass shards will spill out of the hole of me. Then I'll be okay. Then I'll go back to sleep.
"Pa?"
Boy son says. He's my son. I try not to look surprised and let a smile cross my features. It pulls at my lips and makes me tired. I'm tired. I could just get my heart to stop beating go back to sleep. Try not to make it harder for myself, for boy son. He's seen me, though. I am that poor deer left behind by its herd who has to deal with either a group of men or a jackal. I don't know which one I'd prefer, and it scares me.
"Hi."
And that's it.
That's all I have to say and Son's eyes water, and they're a pretty little shade of blue, and I wonder if those are my eyes, because I don't know what Me looks like. Son is crying and I can see his body beginning to move, and he leans over and grabs my bones hands and sobs on me. He weighs more than a fucking house, but I don't mind. I let him crush me because I think that's the right thing to do. I don't know who he is, but this is probably the right thing to do.
"Pa, oh, pa, I'm so glad you're okay..."
I tune out, and go back to sleep.