Falling nightmare
I had the falling nightmare again last night.
I was climbing a staircase with two other women, I was in the middle, behind one of the female engineers from work. No idea who the woman behind me was. We were headed towards the top floor of a building that looked a bit like Wheelright Hall. As we got to the third floor, the first woman made it all the way to the top landing, but as I started to climb the last flight of stairs, the old wood crumbled and the nails pulled loose. I could feel the stairs giving way beneath my feet and managed to turn and throw myself in the opposite direction. I fell half on, half off the landing just as the stairs pulled free and fell down the deep black chasm (it’s never just two or three stories, it’s always some bottomless pit you can fall into). I called out to the woman behind me to help, because there was nothing to grab onto. She didn’t help, but I was somehow able to get my legs up onto the landing and lay there cowering, next to the wall, as far away as I could get from the edge.
I’ve had some variation on this dream pretty regularly over the years. But my subconscious changes it up, putting me in different buildings, so I don’t think I’ve ever realized before that this is a recurring nightmare. Sometimes it’s Amen Hall, sometimes it’s that moving Hogwarts staircase, sometimes it’s an apartment building, other times it’s a mansion, sometimes it’s a lighthouse or a castle. Sometimes I’m trapped below and need to get to the top floor. Sometimes I make it to the top floor, and can’t get back down. But it's always terrifying.
Is it any wonder, if I’ve been having this dream for years, that I’m so deathly afraid of heights/falling?
I was climbing a staircase with two other women, I was in the middle, behind one of the female engineers from work. No idea who the woman behind me was. We were headed towards the top floor of a building that looked a bit like Wheelright Hall. As we got to the third floor, the first woman made it all the way to the top landing, but as I started to climb the last flight of stairs, the old wood crumbled and the nails pulled loose. I could feel the stairs giving way beneath my feet and managed to turn and throw myself in the opposite direction. I fell half on, half off the landing just as the stairs pulled free and fell down the deep black chasm (it’s never just two or three stories, it’s always some bottomless pit you can fall into). I called out to the woman behind me to help, because there was nothing to grab onto. She didn’t help, but I was somehow able to get my legs up onto the landing and lay there cowering, next to the wall, as far away as I could get from the edge.
I’ve had some variation on this dream pretty regularly over the years. But my subconscious changes it up, putting me in different buildings, so I don’t think I’ve ever realized before that this is a recurring nightmare. Sometimes it’s Amen Hall, sometimes it’s that moving Hogwarts staircase, sometimes it’s an apartment building, other times it’s a mansion, sometimes it’s a lighthouse or a castle. Sometimes I’m trapped below and need to get to the top floor. Sometimes I make it to the top floor, and can’t get back down. But it's always terrifying.
Is it any wonder, if I’ve been having this dream for years, that I’m so deathly afraid of heights/falling?