How I’d spend my lottery winnings
So, with the Powerball jackpot hovering somewhere around a billion dollars (depending on who you ask, and whether you take the lump sum or the 30 years annuity payout), it’s time to do a little fantasizing.
And yes, I did actually purchase Powerball tickets today. I played the lottery for the first time in ages. I generally only play the lottery when it gets up to ridiculous amounts of money, because if I’m going to be rich, I want to be stinking rich, quit my job and never work again rich, buy an island rich. And yes, I know that it’s the “stupid tax” and that I’m throwing my money away. I got an A in statistics in college, I know how to calculate the odds. I know all this.
But I also know that you can’t win if you can’t play. And what I’m really buying is the dream of winning, not the actual experience of winning (because counting on winning the lottery is a fool’s dream). You can’t really dream about spending your winnings if you don’t actually play once in a while. And that’s really how I see the Lottery, as a chance to dream big and have just the teensiest chance that crazy dream might come true.
Y’all are gonna eyeroll over how sensible some of this is.
So the first thing I’d do is find myself a good lawyer and a financial advisor. Because I’d need help with all this money. (I love even typing that!) Then I’m rent myself a safety deposit box to keep the ticket in until I’m ready to cash it in. I’d need time to plot my strategy. In MA I have a year to claim my lottery winnings. I’d need to do things like unlist my phone number. Or probably change it, because I’ve had it so long it’s all over the Internet. I might just buy a new cell phone and only tell a select few people the new number.
I’d need to plan where I wanted to cash in my ticket. Far away from where I live, so either New Bedford (down by the Cape) or Springfield (western MA). I’d need a disguise (at the very least a wig and dark glasses) and a rental car, because the last thing I want is people following me home begging for money. I wish you could claim anonymously in MA, but you can’t. Which means publicity. *sighs*
I’d renew my passport so I had it ready by the time I cash in my ticket. Just in case I need/want to flee the country if the press is annoying as I think they’ll be.
Then, at some point, I cash that thing in and take the annuity. Why the annuity? All the advice about take the lump sum assumes you’ll invest it. And that assumes that the stock market doesn’t crash again any time in the next 30 years and wipe out most of my winnings. Besides, I’ve read one too many stories about lottery winners who were broke only a year to two after they won. How you manage to spend all that money I don’t know, but if I’m going to blow my money, I want to know that there’s another check coming next year.
Once the check has cleared my bank, I’d pay off my mortgage and my credit cards. I’m pretty sure my parent’s mortgage is paid off, but if it’s not, I’d pay that off. And pay off my sister’s mortgage.
Then I’d write the biggest donation check allowed by law to Bernie Sanders. I’d also write checks to the Democratic Party, Emily’s List, Planned Parenthood, and NARAL.
I’d also probably play fairy godmother and pay off a bunch of friend’s mortgages. And buy savings bonds for some of my favorite kids to go to college. My two alma maters will probably get a check too. I’m a big fan of education.
Because I’m a reenactor, and because we lost the Higgins two years ago, I’d make donations to my favorite historical sites and museums. Probably the bulk of my money will end up going to historical preservation.
I’d also seriously look into how I could funnel a big chunk of my winnings into Rolling Jubilee because I don’t need a ton of money to be happy. I could do everything I dreamed of, travel, treat friends, etc. on well under a million dollars a year (I'd probably budget myself a million and give the rest away to charity). All those other people playing the lottery? I’m sure there are plenty of them drowning in debt that would like a hand up. And Rolling Jubilee helps people who are underwater on their debts. I like the idea of helping people who most desperately need it. Folks who have medical debt, or are underwater on their student loans.
http://dailycaller.com/2016/01/11/powerballs-online-faq-is-an-unexpected-comedy-gold-mine/
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/13/upshot/dear-powerball-winner-take-our-advice-and-take-the-annuity.html
http://twocents.lifehacker.com/what-to-do-with-the-money-if-you-actually-win-tonights-1752573569
So, if you won the lottery, what would you do with your winnings?
And yes, I did actually purchase Powerball tickets today. I played the lottery for the first time in ages. I generally only play the lottery when it gets up to ridiculous amounts of money, because if I’m going to be rich, I want to be stinking rich, quit my job and never work again rich, buy an island rich. And yes, I know that it’s the “stupid tax” and that I’m throwing my money away. I got an A in statistics in college, I know how to calculate the odds. I know all this.
But I also know that you can’t win if you can’t play. And what I’m really buying is the dream of winning, not the actual experience of winning (because counting on winning the lottery is a fool’s dream). You can’t really dream about spending your winnings if you don’t actually play once in a while. And that’s really how I see the Lottery, as a chance to dream big and have just the teensiest chance that crazy dream might come true.
Y’all are gonna eyeroll over how sensible some of this is.
So the first thing I’d do is find myself a good lawyer and a financial advisor. Because I’d need help with all this money. (I love even typing that!) Then I’m rent myself a safety deposit box to keep the ticket in until I’m ready to cash it in. I’d need time to plot my strategy. In MA I have a year to claim my lottery winnings. I’d need to do things like unlist my phone number. Or probably change it, because I’ve had it so long it’s all over the Internet. I might just buy a new cell phone and only tell a select few people the new number.
I’d need to plan where I wanted to cash in my ticket. Far away from where I live, so either New Bedford (down by the Cape) or Springfield (western MA). I’d need a disguise (at the very least a wig and dark glasses) and a rental car, because the last thing I want is people following me home begging for money. I wish you could claim anonymously in MA, but you can’t. Which means publicity. *sighs*
I’d renew my passport so I had it ready by the time I cash in my ticket. Just in case I need/want to flee the country if the press is annoying as I think they’ll be.
Then, at some point, I cash that thing in and take the annuity. Why the annuity? All the advice about take the lump sum assumes you’ll invest it. And that assumes that the stock market doesn’t crash again any time in the next 30 years and wipe out most of my winnings. Besides, I’ve read one too many stories about lottery winners who were broke only a year to two after they won. How you manage to spend all that money I don’t know, but if I’m going to blow my money, I want to know that there’s another check coming next year.
Once the check has cleared my bank, I’d pay off my mortgage and my credit cards. I’m pretty sure my parent’s mortgage is paid off, but if it’s not, I’d pay that off. And pay off my sister’s mortgage.
Then I’d write the biggest donation check allowed by law to Bernie Sanders. I’d also write checks to the Democratic Party, Emily’s List, Planned Parenthood, and NARAL.
I’d also probably play fairy godmother and pay off a bunch of friend’s mortgages. And buy savings bonds for some of my favorite kids to go to college. My two alma maters will probably get a check too. I’m a big fan of education.
Because I’m a reenactor, and because we lost the Higgins two years ago, I’d make donations to my favorite historical sites and museums. Probably the bulk of my money will end up going to historical preservation.
I’d also seriously look into how I could funnel a big chunk of my winnings into Rolling Jubilee because I don’t need a ton of money to be happy. I could do everything I dreamed of, travel, treat friends, etc. on well under a million dollars a year (I'd probably budget myself a million and give the rest away to charity). All those other people playing the lottery? I’m sure there are plenty of them drowning in debt that would like a hand up. And Rolling Jubilee helps people who are underwater on their debts. I like the idea of helping people who most desperately need it. Folks who have medical debt, or are underwater on their student loans.
http://dailycaller.com/2016/01/11/powerballs-online-faq-is-an-unexpected-comedy-gold-mine/
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/13/upshot/dear-powerball-winner-take-our-advice-and-take-the-annuity.html
http://twocents.lifehacker.com/what-to-do-with-the-money-if-you-actually-win-tonights-1752573569
So, if you won the lottery, what would you do with your winnings?