Kingsmen, Kill the Messenger, Playing it Cool
Thursday I rented Kingsman because darnit, I missed it when it was in the theaters. I think this movie would have been fun on the big screen.
I had been rather looking forward to seeing Colin Firth (Jane Austin and Bridget Jones’s Mr. Darcy, and the poor stuttering King George VI) as an ass kicking, well dressed secret agent. I had not expected to see Mark Hamill as a rather scruffy professor, Jack Davenport as agent Lancelot, or Mark Strong with a British accent and Samuel L. Jackson with a lisp. (For some reason, I can only remember Mark Strong as the Frenchie in Robin Hood, even though I know he’s a Brit). I wasn’t sure what direction the movie was going (action or comedy) until I heard Samuel L. Jackson pull out that horrible lisp, and then I knew we were firmly in “camp” territory. Unfortunately, it made some of his lines really hard to understand, but hey, it was a character choice I guess.
I really like how much they emphasized teamwork as part of the Kingsman training. Because even the most elite secret operatives all need their teams to help get them and keep them in the field. That was a theme running through the whole movie, and I loved that. And our young hero, Eggsy, really was a team player, even when some of his teammates weren’t.
I also loved how, in a few snippets of dialog, they explained a whole lot of stuff that other scripts would have just handwaved away. Like how Eggsy had such mad skills despite being brought up in a council house. When Hart interviews him in the pub, Hart rattles off what he’s learned about Eggsy, that he’s got a high IQ, that he spent a couple of years taking gymnastics, that he dropped out of training for the Royal Marines even though he was doing exceptionally well (his mother was worried about him getting killed like his father). So instead of us wondering how this young kid has mad shooting skills and can bound all over the place doing acrobatics, we’re told that he’s already trained. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that. I also love that there are a couple of (admittedly token) female Kingsmen, but the one does quite well, which, again, appreciated.
And I love how they explained what the Kingsmen are, and tied it into a sad incident in British history.
Since 1849, Kingsman Tailors have clothed the world's most powerful individuals. In 1919, a great number of them had lost their heirs to World War I. That meant a lot of money going uninherited. And a lot of powerful men with the desire to preserve peace and protect life. Our founders realized that they could channel that wealth and influence for the greater good. And so began our adventure. An independent international intelligence agency operating at the highest level of discretion. Without the politics and bureaucracy that undermine the intelligence of government-run spy organisations. A suit is the modern gentleman's armour. And the Kingsman agents are the new knights.
Which explains why they all have code names like Galahad and Lancelot and Merlin. Yay world building that holds together in a script!
And I just love some of the advice that Hart dishes out to Eggsy (and don’t you love the symbolism in their names, Hart has a soft heart for Eggsy, who is the child he’s been sitting on for years, waiting to hatch).
A gentleman’s name should appear in the newspaper only three times: when he’s born, when he marries, and when he dies. And we are, first and foremost, gentlemen.
Being a gentleman has nothing to do with the circumstances of one’s birth. Being a gentleman is something one learns.
Eggsy - So are you going to teach me how to talk proper, like in My Fair Lady?
Hart - Don’t be absurd. Being a gentleman has nothing to do with one’s accent. It’s about being at ease in one’s skin. As Hemingway said, there’s nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man. True nobility is being superior to your former self.
Such good life lessons for our young Padawan. And that last bit, about being superior to your former self. Yeah, that’s timely for me right now.
But I think my favorite line was when Hart had infiltrated a Baptist church in Kentucky to try to find out what our villain was up to (sadly, he does find out…and it’s pretty horrible). Once he realizes what’s going on, he tries to leave. And one of the church ladies is horrified that he’s leaving in the middle of the service and tries to block his exit. When she asks why he’s leaving, he patiently explains, in his perfect British accent: “I'm a Catholic whore, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam.”
I about died laughing when he said that.
My only complaint was the very end of the movie, which pretty much left a bad taste in my mouth.
[Spoilers Ahoy]As he’s running through the “dungeon” for the last time, someone bangs on the wall of their cell. It’s the Scandinavian Princess. He stops and talks to her a bit, and when he has to run off, she offers him anal sex if he comes back and lets her out. WTF? I mean, that’s just crass. She could have offered him a kiss, money, to have sex with him, to marry him. And even worse, the last shot that we see through his glasses camera is her naked arse, just before Merlin shuts down the video feed in embarrassment. It was just such a tacky “joke” at the end of a mostly classy spy movie. I don’t even think Austin Powers would have gone for something quite so crude. It stuck out as horribly wrong, and just really left a bad taste at the end of what had been quite a bit of campy (if bloody) fun until then.
When I returned Jupiter Ascending and Kingsman on Friday, I was still in the mood for movies, so I grabbed two more. It turned out to be an Avengers actors sorta night, because the three movies I picked out starred Jeremy Renner, Chris Evans, and Scarlett Johannson (I left Lucy for another night, but I’ll be back for her).
First up was Kill the Messenger with Jeremy Renner. I went through a pretty heavy “track down everything my new imaginary boyfriend has been in and watch it phase” after the Avengers came out back in 2012. And Renner makes some very interesting choices as a character actor, so when I heard about this movie I was really interested in seeing it.
It’s the story of a reporter for the San Jose Mercury News who accidentally, while covering a story about drug lords, comes into possession of a deposition by a drug lord who is working for the American Government. As more than just a paid informant. He’s actually running drugs for the CIA. Yep, this is the reporter who broke the story about the CIA running drugs to raise money to support the contras in Nicaragua.
It’s a good movie, and Renner gives a fine performance, doing his research, worrying about his story, and then watching as the CIA puts him through a smear campaign that makes him the story, not government misdeeds. As one character says, “Some stories are just too true to tell.” But it’s the part at the end, where they tell you what happened after the movie ended that blew me away. The reporter was found dead of two gunshot wounds to the head. And the death was ruled a suicide. Who shoots themselves twice in the head to kill themselves? That bit was just creepy and makes you wonder if the CIA murdered him? (His wife and the coroner both said it was a suicide, but still, it's creepy!)
And then, since I knew that Kill the Messenger was going to be a heavy story, I picked up a light romantic comedy with Chris Evans called Playing it Cool. He plays a screenwriter who has been hired to write a Rom-Com. Except the only problem is, he’s never been in love and doesn’t believe in love. Until he (of course, because it’s a romantic comedy) falls in love for the first time and doesn’t know what to do or how to handle it. So we get to spend a lot of our time hanging out with his quirky writing group as he struggles with his screenplay and his not-a-relationship (four dues and our one token dudette, who totally acts like a dude, but hey, we need a female character for one crucial scene at the end, so she’ll have to do). Including Topher Grace as his best friend, who I had no idea was gay until the movie was almost over. Yanno, because this gay character totally acted just like the straight dudes and never said or did anything to indicate that as a gay man he might have anything to offer to this whole “what is love and what does it mean” existential crisis that our lead character is having.
So yeah, kind of a horrible script, but that might have been intentional, because the conceit was that our writer hero was writing the story about love when he didn’t know anything about it. I would have been upset if I’d seen this one in the theaters, it was barely worth the $1.50 RedBox rental. Probably would be OK on cable, except then they’re going to edit out all the dirty words.
Looking at Chris Evan’s career makes me wonder why he’s made to many bad RomComs? Maybe because they keep offering them to him? Because I’ve seen him in a couple, and none of the scripts were very good. But he seems to sort of get typecast as “loveable doofus” for some reason. It’s one of the reasons why I like him as Cap so much, because it’s so different from what I usually see him doing (playing the goofball).
I had been rather looking forward to seeing Colin Firth (Jane Austin and Bridget Jones’s Mr. Darcy, and the poor stuttering King George VI) as an ass kicking, well dressed secret agent. I had not expected to see Mark Hamill as a rather scruffy professor, Jack Davenport as agent Lancelot, or Mark Strong with a British accent and Samuel L. Jackson with a lisp. (For some reason, I can only remember Mark Strong as the Frenchie in Robin Hood, even though I know he’s a Brit). I wasn’t sure what direction the movie was going (action or comedy) until I heard Samuel L. Jackson pull out that horrible lisp, and then I knew we were firmly in “camp” territory. Unfortunately, it made some of his lines really hard to understand, but hey, it was a character choice I guess.
I really like how much they emphasized teamwork as part of the Kingsman training. Because even the most elite secret operatives all need their teams to help get them and keep them in the field. That was a theme running through the whole movie, and I loved that. And our young hero, Eggsy, really was a team player, even when some of his teammates weren’t.
I also loved how, in a few snippets of dialog, they explained a whole lot of stuff that other scripts would have just handwaved away. Like how Eggsy had such mad skills despite being brought up in a council house. When Hart interviews him in the pub, Hart rattles off what he’s learned about Eggsy, that he’s got a high IQ, that he spent a couple of years taking gymnastics, that he dropped out of training for the Royal Marines even though he was doing exceptionally well (his mother was worried about him getting killed like his father). So instead of us wondering how this young kid has mad shooting skills and can bound all over the place doing acrobatics, we’re told that he’s already trained. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that. I also love that there are a couple of (admittedly token) female Kingsmen, but the one does quite well, which, again, appreciated.
And I love how they explained what the Kingsmen are, and tied it into a sad incident in British history.
Since 1849, Kingsman Tailors have clothed the world's most powerful individuals. In 1919, a great number of them had lost their heirs to World War I. That meant a lot of money going uninherited. And a lot of powerful men with the desire to preserve peace and protect life. Our founders realized that they could channel that wealth and influence for the greater good. And so began our adventure. An independent international intelligence agency operating at the highest level of discretion. Without the politics and bureaucracy that undermine the intelligence of government-run spy organisations. A suit is the modern gentleman's armour. And the Kingsman agents are the new knights.
Which explains why they all have code names like Galahad and Lancelot and Merlin. Yay world building that holds together in a script!
And I just love some of the advice that Hart dishes out to Eggsy (and don’t you love the symbolism in their names, Hart has a soft heart for Eggsy, who is the child he’s been sitting on for years, waiting to hatch).
A gentleman’s name should appear in the newspaper only three times: when he’s born, when he marries, and when he dies. And we are, first and foremost, gentlemen.
Being a gentleman has nothing to do with the circumstances of one’s birth. Being a gentleman is something one learns.
Eggsy - So are you going to teach me how to talk proper, like in My Fair Lady?
Hart - Don’t be absurd. Being a gentleman has nothing to do with one’s accent. It’s about being at ease in one’s skin. As Hemingway said, there’s nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man. True nobility is being superior to your former self.
Such good life lessons for our young Padawan. And that last bit, about being superior to your former self. Yeah, that’s timely for me right now.
But I think my favorite line was when Hart had infiltrated a Baptist church in Kentucky to try to find out what our villain was up to (sadly, he does find out…and it’s pretty horrible). Once he realizes what’s going on, he tries to leave. And one of the church ladies is horrified that he’s leaving in the middle of the service and tries to block his exit. When she asks why he’s leaving, he patiently explains, in his perfect British accent: “I'm a Catholic whore, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam.”
I about died laughing when he said that.
My only complaint was the very end of the movie, which pretty much left a bad taste in my mouth.
[Spoilers Ahoy]As he’s running through the “dungeon” for the last time, someone bangs on the wall of their cell. It’s the Scandinavian Princess. He stops and talks to her a bit, and when he has to run off, she offers him anal sex if he comes back and lets her out. WTF? I mean, that’s just crass. She could have offered him a kiss, money, to have sex with him, to marry him. And even worse, the last shot that we see through his glasses camera is her naked arse, just before Merlin shuts down the video feed in embarrassment. It was just such a tacky “joke” at the end of a mostly classy spy movie. I don’t even think Austin Powers would have gone for something quite so crude. It stuck out as horribly wrong, and just really left a bad taste at the end of what had been quite a bit of campy (if bloody) fun until then.
When I returned Jupiter Ascending and Kingsman on Friday, I was still in the mood for movies, so I grabbed two more. It turned out to be an Avengers actors sorta night, because the three movies I picked out starred Jeremy Renner, Chris Evans, and Scarlett Johannson (I left Lucy for another night, but I’ll be back for her).
First up was Kill the Messenger with Jeremy Renner. I went through a pretty heavy “track down everything my new imaginary boyfriend has been in and watch it phase” after the Avengers came out back in 2012. And Renner makes some very interesting choices as a character actor, so when I heard about this movie I was really interested in seeing it.
It’s the story of a reporter for the San Jose Mercury News who accidentally, while covering a story about drug lords, comes into possession of a deposition by a drug lord who is working for the American Government. As more than just a paid informant. He’s actually running drugs for the CIA. Yep, this is the reporter who broke the story about the CIA running drugs to raise money to support the contras in Nicaragua.
It’s a good movie, and Renner gives a fine performance, doing his research, worrying about his story, and then watching as the CIA puts him through a smear campaign that makes him the story, not government misdeeds. As one character says, “Some stories are just too true to tell.” But it’s the part at the end, where they tell you what happened after the movie ended that blew me away. The reporter was found dead of two gunshot wounds to the head. And the death was ruled a suicide. Who shoots themselves twice in the head to kill themselves? That bit was just creepy and makes you wonder if the CIA murdered him? (His wife and the coroner both said it was a suicide, but still, it's creepy!)
And then, since I knew that Kill the Messenger was going to be a heavy story, I picked up a light romantic comedy with Chris Evans called Playing it Cool. He plays a screenwriter who has been hired to write a Rom-Com. Except the only problem is, he’s never been in love and doesn’t believe in love. Until he (of course, because it’s a romantic comedy) falls in love for the first time and doesn’t know what to do or how to handle it. So we get to spend a lot of our time hanging out with his quirky writing group as he struggles with his screenplay and his not-a-relationship (four dues and our one token dudette, who totally acts like a dude, but hey, we need a female character for one crucial scene at the end, so she’ll have to do). Including Topher Grace as his best friend, who I had no idea was gay until the movie was almost over. Yanno, because this gay character totally acted just like the straight dudes and never said or did anything to indicate that as a gay man he might have anything to offer to this whole “what is love and what does it mean” existential crisis that our lead character is having.
So yeah, kind of a horrible script, but that might have been intentional, because the conceit was that our writer hero was writing the story about love when he didn’t know anything about it. I would have been upset if I’d seen this one in the theaters, it was barely worth the $1.50 RedBox rental. Probably would be OK on cable, except then they’re going to edit out all the dirty words.
Looking at Chris Evan’s career makes me wonder why he’s made to many bad RomComs? Maybe because they keep offering them to him? Because I’ve seen him in a couple, and none of the scripts were very good. But he seems to sort of get typecast as “loveable doofus” for some reason. It’s one of the reasons why I like him as Cap so much, because it’s so different from what I usually see him doing (playing the goofball).