Weekend Update - Facebook stalking my ex
It was a quiet weekend. I did the usual weekend chores. But mostly spent the weekend reading.
Recently I was thinking about the fellow that I was engaged to in college (but didn't marry). His name was Paul. I met him at Red Cross camp (no, seriously, it was a summer camp and we were both renewing our Red Cross certifications for our summer jobs, me as a lifeguard/swim instructor, him as a waterfront director for a summer camp). I thought he was going to be a summer fling, he was planning to go into the Peace Corps. But instead, at the end of the summer he moved in with me. Then, in a startling change of direction, when I told him I needed my space (we were both living in my room with all our junk. It was crowded.), he ran off and joined the Marines. But for some reason told me it was the Coast Guard. I found his enlistment papers in a book I'd lent him, and did some detective work (i.e. I stormed into his recruiters office and asked for an explanation!). Paul made it through Boot Camp and Basic Warrior Training before the Marines discovered that he had the world’s flattest feet and politely but firmly gave him a medical discharge. At some point we got engaged. Then Paul moved back to Vermont. And then he moved to a commune, where he lived in a house that literally looked like it was built from materials that fell off the back of a truck. And while at the commune he started sleeping with one of his neighbors, and forgot to tell me. Yeah, my life has always been interesting. Needless to say, I could tell something hinky was going on and broke the engagement.
So I recently realized that I hadn’t tried to Google him in a while. In fact, I think the last time was probably ten years ago, after I left the Wasband and was living with my evil twin Skippy before I bought Frogholm. I was driving through Nashua, NH and I spotted a really fit dude with flame red hair jogging on the side of the road. Paul had the same color flame red hair, so when I got home that day I had Googled him. At the time (ten years ago) I found some blog that he and his wife wrote. It appeared that she was working as an admin at a college and supporting the family while he was a househusband. Hmm, seems he still couldn't hold down a job. Or at least, I couldn’t find any evidence of a job in his author bio or the couple of blog posts that I read at the time.
I realized that the last time I tried searching for him was before Facebook blew up and became crazy popular. Everyone is on Facebook now. So I searched for him. Now, here’s the thing, his last name could also be a woman’s first name. For example (this isn’t his name), Paul Laurie. So at least half the search results I got were women’s names (Laurie Paul) instead of men’s names (Paul Laurie). I clicked on a couple of links, but didn’t see anyone that looked like a fit redhead. When I knew Paul he was in amazing shape. And then he joined the Marines. He was the only guy in his platoon to actually gain weight during boot camp. Usually guys lose weight. But he was so lean, all he could do was gain muscle. Oh. My. Gawd. To this day he remains the hottest guy that I have ever canoodled with.
I couldn’t find him on Facebook, so I did some Googling. When I added his alma mater to my search terms, I found an article about him with a bio that included his home town (which I vaguely remembered). And when I read the article, which had a photo, I realized that one of the Facebook profiles that I had already clicked on was actually him. I went back and looked at the photos, and OMG, I could have passed him in the street and never recognized him. His hair is short (it was long when I knew him), not longer red, he’s wearing glasses. And he got fat.
Not only does he have a sizeable gut, but he’s got that big collar of fat around his neck that some men get that makes them look even fatter than they are. I know people put on weight when they get older (I certainly have), but of all the people that I knew in my youth, I thought for sure Paul would still be fit.
I feel sorely disappointed that this guy, the hottest dude I have ever seen nekkid in person is now a doughball. And apparently still in school (he went back to grad school), even though he's almost 50. WTF.
*sigh*
And I’m disappointed in myself for feeling that way.
And yeah, I took a long hard look at myself. And I’m equally disappointed in the fact that I’ve let myself get so fat. Any of my former flames looking me up on Facebook would probably feel the same disappointment about what sort of shape I’m in.
Feh.
I wish I hadn't looked.
Recently I was thinking about the fellow that I was engaged to in college (but didn't marry). His name was Paul. I met him at Red Cross camp (no, seriously, it was a summer camp and we were both renewing our Red Cross certifications for our summer jobs, me as a lifeguard/swim instructor, him as a waterfront director for a summer camp). I thought he was going to be a summer fling, he was planning to go into the Peace Corps. But instead, at the end of the summer he moved in with me. Then, in a startling change of direction, when I told him I needed my space (we were both living in my room with all our junk. It was crowded.), he ran off and joined the Marines. But for some reason told me it was the Coast Guard. I found his enlistment papers in a book I'd lent him, and did some detective work (i.e. I stormed into his recruiters office and asked for an explanation!). Paul made it through Boot Camp and Basic Warrior Training before the Marines discovered that he had the world’s flattest feet and politely but firmly gave him a medical discharge. At some point we got engaged. Then Paul moved back to Vermont. And then he moved to a commune, where he lived in a house that literally looked like it was built from materials that fell off the back of a truck. And while at the commune he started sleeping with one of his neighbors, and forgot to tell me. Yeah, my life has always been interesting. Needless to say, I could tell something hinky was going on and broke the engagement.
So I recently realized that I hadn’t tried to Google him in a while. In fact, I think the last time was probably ten years ago, after I left the Wasband and was living with my evil twin Skippy before I bought Frogholm. I was driving through Nashua, NH and I spotted a really fit dude with flame red hair jogging on the side of the road. Paul had the same color flame red hair, so when I got home that day I had Googled him. At the time (ten years ago) I found some blog that he and his wife wrote. It appeared that she was working as an admin at a college and supporting the family while he was a househusband. Hmm, seems he still couldn't hold down a job. Or at least, I couldn’t find any evidence of a job in his author bio or the couple of blog posts that I read at the time.
I realized that the last time I tried searching for him was before Facebook blew up and became crazy popular. Everyone is on Facebook now. So I searched for him. Now, here’s the thing, his last name could also be a woman’s first name. For example (this isn’t his name), Paul Laurie. So at least half the search results I got were women’s names (Laurie Paul) instead of men’s names (Paul Laurie). I clicked on a couple of links, but didn’t see anyone that looked like a fit redhead. When I knew Paul he was in amazing shape. And then he joined the Marines. He was the only guy in his platoon to actually gain weight during boot camp. Usually guys lose weight. But he was so lean, all he could do was gain muscle. Oh. My. Gawd. To this day he remains the hottest guy that I have ever canoodled with.
I couldn’t find him on Facebook, so I did some Googling. When I added his alma mater to my search terms, I found an article about him with a bio that included his home town (which I vaguely remembered). And when I read the article, which had a photo, I realized that one of the Facebook profiles that I had already clicked on was actually him. I went back and looked at the photos, and OMG, I could have passed him in the street and never recognized him. His hair is short (it was long when I knew him), not longer red, he’s wearing glasses. And he got fat.
Not only does he have a sizeable gut, but he’s got that big collar of fat around his neck that some men get that makes them look even fatter than they are. I know people put on weight when they get older (I certainly have), but of all the people that I knew in my youth, I thought for sure Paul would still be fit.
I feel sorely disappointed that this guy, the hottest dude I have ever seen nekkid in person is now a doughball. And apparently still in school (he went back to grad school), even though he's almost 50. WTF.
*sigh*
And I’m disappointed in myself for feeling that way.
And yeah, I took a long hard look at myself. And I’m equally disappointed in the fact that I’ve let myself get so fat. Any of my former flames looking me up on Facebook would probably feel the same disappointment about what sort of shape I’m in.
Feh.
I wish I hadn't looked.