now we both know... now i can die...
Oh my. really. i should not talk anymore... really. nik, im sorry. i should just learn to shut up. you are such an awesome person, and i love you to death. and you know it.
i really want to go to muskego on wednesday.
i dont have school thursday or friday, but i work till close both nights.
i worked tonight... i closed with emily and elyse. it wasnt too bad. we were out of there at an okay time. not great, not bad.
today i got up at 6. i went to church wiht jonny. then we came back to his house and took a nap while watching the fast and the furious. then we went to churchball. they lost by one basket. i sorry... then when we got back to his house, i had to leave.
i came home and took a nap.
then i went to work.
now im taking to Nik.
and im not shutting up. he told me to talk... so i am...
but he isnt talking back yet...
i guess i talk about things that are too confusing or too stupid...
damn. i really want to talk to him in person.
but thats not happening.
i also want to talk to jon. but i cant get a hold of him. he's not answering his cell fone.
i also want to...
nevermind.
im shutting up.
see? its working. slowly.
i dont understand whats happening. all of the people i used to know are complete strangers to me. all of you who think you know me, probably dont. why do i feel like i dont know you anymore? i dont like this. at all. i dotn like not being able to be myself, speak my mind, do what i want... dont like being judged by one little action. i really dont. its horrible. i feel like shit because i cant talk to you and tell you what i want to say... i cant be me... and i feel like you arent being you either. What can be done by the both of us to fix it? why is everything changing?
there are a few exceptions to the above stated that i want to clear up right now. amber, you are not included. neither is nik or jo. those are the ones who know the real me... and the rest of you, i'll let you decide if it is "us" that is having problems. and then when you decide, tell me, and we will work on fixing it if you want to.
i guess thats all for now.
g'nite
i really want to go to muskego on wednesday.
i dont have school thursday or friday, but i work till close both nights.
i worked tonight... i closed with emily and elyse. it wasnt too bad. we were out of there at an okay time. not great, not bad.
today i got up at 6. i went to church wiht jonny. then we came back to his house and took a nap while watching the fast and the furious. then we went to churchball. they lost by one basket. i sorry... then when we got back to his house, i had to leave.
i came home and took a nap.
then i went to work.
now im taking to Nik.
and im not shutting up. he told me to talk... so i am...
but he isnt talking back yet...
i guess i talk about things that are too confusing or too stupid...
damn. i really want to talk to him in person.
but thats not happening.
i also want to talk to jon. but i cant get a hold of him. he's not answering his cell fone.
i also want to...
nevermind.
im shutting up.
see? its working. slowly.
i dont understand whats happening. all of the people i used to know are complete strangers to me. all of you who think you know me, probably dont. why do i feel like i dont know you anymore? i dont like this. at all. i dotn like not being able to be myself, speak my mind, do what i want... dont like being judged by one little action. i really dont. its horrible. i feel like shit because i cant talk to you and tell you what i want to say... i cant be me... and i feel like you arent being you either. What can be done by the both of us to fix it? why is everything changing?
there are a few exceptions to the above stated that i want to clear up right now. amber, you are not included. neither is nik or jo. those are the ones who know the real me... and the rest of you, i'll let you decide if it is "us" that is having problems. and then when you decide, tell me, and we will work on fixing it if you want to.
i guess thats all for now.
g'nite