Canada Customs....
So picking up the business cards was far from a simple task...I was told by Alaska Airlines when I called twice (thats right both times) that the total was $42.00 US funds, cash only, everthing included....I thought this was strange because I am located in Canada...but what do I know???? so then I made the 45 minute hell drive to the vancouver international airport where I proceeded to get lost...I finally found Alaska Air Cargo and went in side only to find out that I needed to go to Canada Customs located in the main terminal to get the shipment cleared...
Now lets stop here for a second...you see Vancouver Airport is much like a large Disney Land...I was now aproaching hour 2 and 'fucknuts' from Alaskan gave me a piece of paper with "Alaskan Air Cargo Runner" written in black felt pen and sent me on my way...told me to go to "International Arrivals" to park in the taxi/bus loading zone...I then made the drive to the main terminal...and found 'Internationl Arrivals'...picture this...me...shaved black hair, dark skin, drivin a ghetto 1990 brown station wagon with a piece of paper and hand writing with a felt pen on the front of the car...GEE DO YA THINK MAYBE....JUS MAYBE SECURITY, POLICE, AND/OR THE MILITARY MAY THINK THAT I COULD BE SUSPICIOUS?????
I 'flipped a bitch' and proceeded to the parking lot like 10 fuckin football fields away from where I wanted to be only to find I needed $5 cash for one hour parking...so then I headed for the car rental returns and slid the 'ride' in next to a new mini van...I handed the keys to the gf and asked her to move it if anyone came...20 minutes later I get to Canada Customs only to be told that the paper work was incomplete and they only clear 'live animals' in such cases...well isn't that jus fan-fuckin-tastic I said to myslef...I headed back to the G ride and once again drove to Alaskan Air Cargo now approaching hour 3...I walked in the door and tried to calmy let 'fucknuts' know how I felt about this whole ordeal...he then informed me that I would have to wait until tommorrow to talk with Canada Customs Cargo...and added "by the way we don't take US cash only Canadian and if you don't deal with this tommorrow it's $10 a day storage fee"
I then lost touch with reality momentarily...I do this every once and while when someone demonstrates stupidity and/or ignorance...I said "ya no problem...I don't mind driving another hour and a half round trip...after all I called you people twice and was not informed about any of this until now...and to better that I only brought US cash not Candian cus I was told thats all you accept...and now your saying it has to be Canadian cash????and there is a storage fee???" I must have confused the poor bastard cus he jus kinda stared with a frown on his face...so I headed home in rage...I was supposed to go to Aberdeen Washington tomorrow...so I called my buddy and bumped the trip a day
Friday mornin the phone rings..."hi there....it's Alaskan Air Cargo ...we have a package for you..."...I replied "NO WAY...do ya think????I was there last night...you have a short memory???"...he replied..."ohhhh right ...soooo sorry...."...I then headed back to Alaskan 'how can I fuck you' Air Cargo and was given directions to the other Canada Customs...they gave me all the proper paperwork and off I went...after 30 minutes and some pleading...Customs cleared it...so I headed back to see my new friends at Alaskan 'we don't supply the lube with your ass fucking' Air Cargo and 'fucknuts#2' says..."it's no good... they didnt stamp it"...what does a person say at this point???I mean seriously...with out swearing/throwing things and insulting people...I looked at him calmy and said..."no worries man...it's ALL good...5 hours...whats another 30 mins...I guess telling me I needed a god damn stamp in the first place would have been nice...."
Back to Customs, again...YIPPPPEEEEEE!!!!then I was bitched out by the chick who cleared them cus the paper work I had 'confused her'....and another 30 mins past...back to see my new found friends and gay hamster lovers...at Alaskan where I finally got my business cards...and it came to $37 Canadian????I didn't even bother asking why it wasn't $42 like last nite...to make things better the the majoirty of cards look like shit...but they wouldn't let me look at them till I payed...
All this cus the guy making the cards said "I ship to Vancouver all the time with Alaskan"...ya thats why they have never heard of you...the box went from Portland to LA then Vancouver...cus he wrote Langley, USA...THANKS RON ENRIGHT YOU FUCKTARD!!!!!
5 hours + $20 in gas + hella stress = shit quality business cards from Portland, Oregon, USA
later-B-
Now lets stop here for a second...you see Vancouver Airport is much like a large Disney Land...I was now aproaching hour 2 and 'fucknuts' from Alaskan gave me a piece of paper with "Alaskan Air Cargo Runner" written in black felt pen and sent me on my way...told me to go to "International Arrivals" to park in the taxi/bus loading zone...I then made the drive to the main terminal...and found 'Internationl Arrivals'...picture this...me...shaved black hair, dark skin, drivin a ghetto 1990 brown station wagon with a piece of paper and hand writing with a felt pen on the front of the car...GEE DO YA THINK MAYBE....JUS MAYBE SECURITY, POLICE, AND/OR THE MILITARY MAY THINK THAT I COULD BE SUSPICIOUS?????
I 'flipped a bitch' and proceeded to the parking lot like 10 fuckin football fields away from where I wanted to be only to find I needed $5 cash for one hour parking...so then I headed for the car rental returns and slid the 'ride' in next to a new mini van...I handed the keys to the gf and asked her to move it if anyone came...20 minutes later I get to Canada Customs only to be told that the paper work was incomplete and they only clear 'live animals' in such cases...well isn't that jus fan-fuckin-tastic I said to myslef...I headed back to the G ride and once again drove to Alaskan Air Cargo now approaching hour 3...I walked in the door and tried to calmy let 'fucknuts' know how I felt about this whole ordeal...he then informed me that I would have to wait until tommorrow to talk with Canada Customs Cargo...and added "by the way we don't take US cash only Canadian and if you don't deal with this tommorrow it's $10 a day storage fee"
I then lost touch with reality momentarily...I do this every once and while when someone demonstrates stupidity and/or ignorance...I said "ya no problem...I don't mind driving another hour and a half round trip...after all I called you people twice and was not informed about any of this until now...and to better that I only brought US cash not Candian cus I was told thats all you accept...and now your saying it has to be Canadian cash????and there is a storage fee???" I must have confused the poor bastard cus he jus kinda stared with a frown on his face...so I headed home in rage...I was supposed to go to Aberdeen Washington tomorrow...so I called my buddy and bumped the trip a day
Friday mornin the phone rings..."hi there....it's Alaskan Air Cargo ...we have a package for you..."...I replied "NO WAY...do ya think????I was there last night...you have a short memory???"...he replied..."ohhhh right ...soooo sorry...."...I then headed back to Alaskan 'how can I fuck you' Air Cargo and was given directions to the other Canada Customs...they gave me all the proper paperwork and off I went...after 30 minutes and some pleading...Customs cleared it...so I headed back to see my new friends at Alaskan 'we don't supply the lube with your ass fucking' Air Cargo and 'fucknuts#2' says..."it's no good... they didnt stamp it"...what does a person say at this point???I mean seriously...with out swearing/throwing things and insulting people...I looked at him calmy and said..."no worries man...it's ALL good...5 hours...whats another 30 mins...I guess telling me I needed a god damn stamp in the first place would have been nice...."
Back to Customs, again...YIPPPPEEEEEE!!!!then I was bitched out by the chick who cleared them cus the paper work I had 'confused her'....and another 30 mins past...back to see my new found friends and gay hamster lovers...at Alaskan where I finally got my business cards...and it came to $37 Canadian????I didn't even bother asking why it wasn't $42 like last nite...to make things better the the majoirty of cards look like shit...but they wouldn't let me look at them till I payed...
All this cus the guy making the cards said "I ship to Vancouver all the time with Alaskan"...ya thats why they have never heard of you...the box went from Portland to LA then Vancouver...cus he wrote Langley, USA...THANKS RON ENRIGHT YOU FUCKTARD!!!!!
5 hours + $20 in gas + hella stress = shit quality business cards from Portland, Oregon, USA
later-B-