east and hudson, in hindsight only.

[briarlaboheme]

re-reading journal entries from may/june last year is hard.

i'm not sure why i did it.

now i am listening to my 'too many feelings' playlist, obviously, and missing everyone intensely. reading the entries was odd. recently, it's all been simple. i've just missed every fucking thing about new york. apart from the things that are Not Good. it has just been missing.

missing is a simple emotion, out of context.

but now i'm caught in a flood of renewed emotions from nearly a year ago. things i had forgotten i felt, but words and pictures are very good at triggering feelings.

and now i miss everyone more.

and this is a thoroughly emo entry.

but sometimes that's just the way it goes.

my backcataloguing turned up some things i had forgotten existed, like this poem i wrote. and i still quite like it. so here it is.


---

We get on well with bridges,

you and I.

We need them in our lives.

Our constant search for lights dancing between dark below

and dark above and

glowing overwhelming civilisation on either side.

We are the bridge between

two sides pulling apart, the bridge

gets a little longer every day

like a glacier slowly encroaching upon a valley.

We are the bridge across a harbour mouth

the beginning of ocean

We are land meeting sea

and man conquering the boundaries

of both.

I am standing on a bridge

but there is no water to cross, only sky

I am a shadow on the ground and

a silver speck in the sky

the bridge was not strong enough

it broke away, I was dragged by steel wings

I would build a bridge

across the water

so we can walk when we’re too poor to fly,

too weary to paddle

in boats constructed from flax and old clothes

and I would meet you in the middle

and we would toss pennies into the sea.

---
goodnight.