Just another day in paradise
This weekend saw the onslaught of "Pride" events on Mobile, Alabama. My friend Bryan is on the board of directors for the local Pride organization and so he was responsible for planning and overseeing many of the events. After work on Friday he asked me to join him at the hotel where some of the festivities were scheduled. I was a little hesitant to go but he's a good friend so I went ahead and joined him. We only stayed for about thirty minutes, but I was completely and totally freaked out being around so many gay people.
It becomes more and more clear to me that I just don't seem to fit in anywhere. I'm not at all like most gay people. I look different for one thing. I'm not fit and in shape and I'm certainly not going to dress to flaunt my 'assets', for lack of a better word. I also don't act prissy and feminine - at least I don't think I do. While we were sitting at the bar, lots of fellow gay people began arriving. Honestly, it was more than a bit disturbing...I've never seen such an assortment of strange, bizarre acting people in my life. I'm a bit phobic and being around the folks there nearly induced a panic attack.
After we finished our drinks (Diet Coke for me) Bryan had to head home and change clothes. Thankfully, that gave me an excuse to go. He asked me to come to the party that night, but he knows I have social issues so he knew I wasn't really going to come. I did tell him that I would be at the Pride parade the next day, though.
When I got home, I spent quite a bit of time thinking about what had happened earlier and why I don't seem to fit in anywhere. I always thought that when I came out I would fit in with that crowd and honestly put so many of my apples in that cart that I didn't quite know how to respond when I came out and felt so alone in that world.
I don't know that I'm ever going to feel comfortable in my own skin.
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My birthday was very nice. The family gave me an electric Hogwarts Express...it's quite wonderful! It smokes and the cars light up on the inside. I want to leave it up all the time but with a little nephew on the way, I'm not entirely sure that's such a good idea. LOL!
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I'm going to the Bay Bears game this afternoon. I need to check their website so that I can get a good look at the players and pick a favorite to watch during the game. :)
It becomes more and more clear to me that I just don't seem to fit in anywhere. I'm not at all like most gay people. I look different for one thing. I'm not fit and in shape and I'm certainly not going to dress to flaunt my 'assets', for lack of a better word. I also don't act prissy and feminine - at least I don't think I do. While we were sitting at the bar, lots of fellow gay people began arriving. Honestly, it was more than a bit disturbing...I've never seen such an assortment of strange, bizarre acting people in my life. I'm a bit phobic and being around the folks there nearly induced a panic attack.
After we finished our drinks (Diet Coke for me) Bryan had to head home and change clothes. Thankfully, that gave me an excuse to go. He asked me to come to the party that night, but he knows I have social issues so he knew I wasn't really going to come. I did tell him that I would be at the Pride parade the next day, though.
When I got home, I spent quite a bit of time thinking about what had happened earlier and why I don't seem to fit in anywhere. I always thought that when I came out I would fit in with that crowd and honestly put so many of my apples in that cart that I didn't quite know how to respond when I came out and felt so alone in that world.
I don't know that I'm ever going to feel comfortable in my own skin.
*
My birthday was very nice. The family gave me an electric Hogwarts Express...it's quite wonderful! It smokes and the cars light up on the inside. I want to leave it up all the time but with a little nephew on the way, I'm not entirely sure that's such a good idea. LOL!
*
I'm going to the Bay Bears game this afternoon. I need to check their website so that I can get a good look at the players and pick a favorite to watch during the game. :)