not everything i write makes you want to slit your wrists
i am almost on vacation, and that makes me smile. :) one more show left and then a couple months with nothing to do.
i really dislike cabot st. for no particular reason. i guess the good thing about not playing shows this summer will be that i will have no reason to go to cabot st, unless there's a band i actually want to see...which is highly unlikely. b-forbes called me sketchy tonight for leaving early to go to work...and i thought about it, i am fucking sketchy. and the thing is, i dont care anymore. fuck chicopee and fuck cabot st. i dont fucking care anymore. I WIN. for once, I FUCKING WIN. ive finally defeated my "scene demons by just not giving a shit. (i wish this wasn't a lie).
i wish i didnt care about alot of the people and things i say i dont care about. im getting good at lying to myself.
so im thinking, i should probably spend this summer writing some songs. there is so much i want to do. i want to play the most brutal metal ever. the kind that makes you shit yourself just listening to it, and makes your bladder explode when you see it performed live. at the same time i want to play emo that makes all the girls cry, and instantly want me.. and on the other hand, i just dont know what the fuck is going on with the band, people are going on tour with other bands, and it seems as if most of this summer for POR is already gone. i can honestly say that if i was in my bandmates shoes at this point in my life, i dont know if i would ever come back.
so i was picking up my mail from the parents house the other day, and in it was a bank statement from citizens bank. apparently, i have a certificate of deposit worth almost 14 grand that matures this month. fucking amazing. just when i want to get out of massachusetts and enjoy my life, magical money falls from the heavens. maybe there is a god after all. i think im gonna take about 4 k out, finish paying off my car, pay off my guitar center credit card, pay mike for the rest of the years rent, and then possibly have a good fucking time with the rest of the money. maybe get some ink done? i could always use a new guitar. then again, i could buy lots of mushrooms at this hippy music fest and make tennessee turn purple. or i could just move far, far away. if anyone has any suggestions, im open to them. and no, im not dontating any money to you. ive never really had any money before. this is kind of cool.
so, the highway is wide open, and in a week from wednesday, i will be on it, hopefully to better places and big adventures. my ticket to bonnaroo is here, and im more excited about it than anything. two days after that, the warped tour will be in nashville, i may just go to that too. and why shouldn't i? it would be fun, and there is alot of bands i want to see. this is the summer of brian after all.
its too bad that theres really no one to share it with. someone give me one good reason not to leave here forever. i really cant think of one. i may be a pussy, kind of old, somewhat sketchy from time to time, and moderatly creepy, but for once, just this once, i can almost honestly say...
...its everyone elses loss. i am a fucking sweet dude. and this summer is going to rule, with or without anyone besides me giving a shit.
smile like you mean it. :)
i really dislike cabot st. for no particular reason. i guess the good thing about not playing shows this summer will be that i will have no reason to go to cabot st, unless there's a band i actually want to see...which is highly unlikely. b-forbes called me sketchy tonight for leaving early to go to work...and i thought about it, i am fucking sketchy. and the thing is, i dont care anymore. fuck chicopee and fuck cabot st. i dont fucking care anymore. I WIN. for once, I FUCKING WIN. ive finally defeated my "scene demons by just not giving a shit. (i wish this wasn't a lie).
i wish i didnt care about alot of the people and things i say i dont care about. im getting good at lying to myself.
so im thinking, i should probably spend this summer writing some songs. there is so much i want to do. i want to play the most brutal metal ever. the kind that makes you shit yourself just listening to it, and makes your bladder explode when you see it performed live. at the same time i want to play emo that makes all the girls cry, and instantly want me.. and on the other hand, i just dont know what the fuck is going on with the band, people are going on tour with other bands, and it seems as if most of this summer for POR is already gone. i can honestly say that if i was in my bandmates shoes at this point in my life, i dont know if i would ever come back.
so i was picking up my mail from the parents house the other day, and in it was a bank statement from citizens bank. apparently, i have a certificate of deposit worth almost 14 grand that matures this month. fucking amazing. just when i want to get out of massachusetts and enjoy my life, magical money falls from the heavens. maybe there is a god after all. i think im gonna take about 4 k out, finish paying off my car, pay off my guitar center credit card, pay mike for the rest of the years rent, and then possibly have a good fucking time with the rest of the money. maybe get some ink done? i could always use a new guitar. then again, i could buy lots of mushrooms at this hippy music fest and make tennessee turn purple. or i could just move far, far away. if anyone has any suggestions, im open to them. and no, im not dontating any money to you. ive never really had any money before. this is kind of cool.
so, the highway is wide open, and in a week from wednesday, i will be on it, hopefully to better places and big adventures. my ticket to bonnaroo is here, and im more excited about it than anything. two days after that, the warped tour will be in nashville, i may just go to that too. and why shouldn't i? it would be fun, and there is alot of bands i want to see. this is the summer of brian after all.
its too bad that theres really no one to share it with. someone give me one good reason not to leave here forever. i really cant think of one. i may be a pussy, kind of old, somewhat sketchy from time to time, and moderatly creepy, but for once, just this once, i can almost honestly say...
...its everyone elses loss. i am a fucking sweet dude. and this summer is going to rule, with or without anyone besides me giving a shit.
smile like you mean it. :)