Crazy is the new growth industry
I am running on very little sleep these days. I was saying the other day that I am averaging just about 2-3 hours of sleep a night. I am assuming this is accurate as I can no longer tell and my accountant is off doing "her job" instead of adding things for me for no pay. It is making me teeter dangerously close to the edge of insanity. The lack of sleep, not my accountant doing her job. Writing clearly is for chumps and gaywads who sleep.
I have this thing when I am really tired where I will wake up but not really be awake. I'm not sleep walking because I am awake and aware, my perceptions are just a little fuzzy. Things seem to make sense but they don't really to any rational mind. An example would be in high school one morning I hopped out of bed realizing I was late. I was sure I was late, so I rushed into the bathroom and showered and did the entire morning routine. Upon exiting I could hear my mom groggily ask me from her room what the hell I was doing. I told her I was getting ready for school. She informed me it was 3:30 in the morning and to go back to bed.
This morning upon waking I decided to have some ice cream. So I broke out and old crazy recipe for ice cream that only my sleep deprived brain knew. I went into the kitchen and piled ice cubes into a bowl, then poured milk over them and then decided I wanted something like caramel on it so I put mustard all over it. I should point out, I wasn't dreaming and thinking it was ice cream in the bowl, I knew what I was putting in there, it just seemed like a good idea at the time because I was convinced this is how one makes ice cream. It was disgusting but I will say one taste did wake me right up.
I have decided crazy is a growth industry though. I have never heard about a recession somehow causing a decline in the number of crazy people. No, if anything the world needs new doomsayers who tell you that they can see your soul and it makes you look fat. So I am embracing my family roots and deciding this what I am going to do. I'm going to start at the bottom, as soon as I am done here I am going to open my window and start screaming at people as they pass on the street. God willing, one day I will be on the street, holding a sign and screaming that the lining of canned vegetables was created to make white people infertile and you will see me. You'll see me and you'll say, "Let's go ahead and cross the street now kids".
I have this thing when I am really tired where I will wake up but not really be awake. I'm not sleep walking because I am awake and aware, my perceptions are just a little fuzzy. Things seem to make sense but they don't really to any rational mind. An example would be in high school one morning I hopped out of bed realizing I was late. I was sure I was late, so I rushed into the bathroom and showered and did the entire morning routine. Upon exiting I could hear my mom groggily ask me from her room what the hell I was doing. I told her I was getting ready for school. She informed me it was 3:30 in the morning and to go back to bed.
This morning upon waking I decided to have some ice cream. So I broke out and old crazy recipe for ice cream that only my sleep deprived brain knew. I went into the kitchen and piled ice cubes into a bowl, then poured milk over them and then decided I wanted something like caramel on it so I put mustard all over it. I should point out, I wasn't dreaming and thinking it was ice cream in the bowl, I knew what I was putting in there, it just seemed like a good idea at the time because I was convinced this is how one makes ice cream. It was disgusting but I will say one taste did wake me right up.
I have decided crazy is a growth industry though. I have never heard about a recession somehow causing a decline in the number of crazy people. No, if anything the world needs new doomsayers who tell you that they can see your soul and it makes you look fat. So I am embracing my family roots and deciding this what I am going to do. I'm going to start at the bottom, as soon as I am done here I am going to open my window and start screaming at people as they pass on the street. God willing, one day I will be on the street, holding a sign and screaming that the lining of canned vegetables was created to make white people infertile and you will see me. You'll see me and you'll say, "Let's go ahead and cross the street now kids".