Nobody cares about your dreams
My dreams are like 80's horror movies. Or at least the one I had last night was. It was pretty much the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
For some reason I was in a high school with Liz. I am not sure why as we didn't go to high school together and I'm relatively certain it has been some time since I stepped foot inside a high school. Also, it was the 1980's if the hair and clothing were any indication. Not that Liz and I were dressed that way, just her idiot friends who accidentally unleashed an ancient curse. Her friend opened some strange box thing and was knocked over dead. Her other friends turned into strange demon/zombie things and took off. It was at this point that I decided to note to Liz her friend laying on the ground was actually pretty hot. She told me that was pretty fucked up. So of course I got defensive, I can't mention your friend is hot? I was told it's a little creepy, what with her friend being dead an all. I tried to point out that in my defense I thought she was hot before she was dead, there just hadn't been a good time to bring it up. Liz pointed out now might not be a good time to bring it up either but I mean, I wasn't going to bring it up at the poor girl's funeral, that would just be classless so it was a now or never sort of thing.
Anyway, that's when the dead girl got up and tried to kill us. Liz claimed it was because of the curse but I think she was just pissed that Liz is going around telling people they can't say she's hot. Either way, most of my dream involved running through hall ways with an ax, (I'm not sure where we got it, from the school ax closet perhaps?) and Liz had a tiny hatchet, cause you know, girls are smaller, I guess they can't swing a big ax. Now, because my subconcious knows the rules, I was pretty worthless in this dream, but Liz had all the great ideas. Oh, and we picked up a side kick, a totally 80's little kid who was a little brother of one of the possessed girls, he was all sorts of catch phrase spewing. We got along very well while Liz did the heavy lifting, being the final girl and all (apparently Liz has tricked my dreaming mind into thinking she's some sort of good girl virgin, that's pretty hilarious on it's own). Eventually after killing a few of the girls, which Liz had issue with and I did not (because uh, demon Zombies, they aren't your friends anymore!) we managed to block the door leaving the school with a bench and Liz went to get help. Of course, there were other exits so me and little side kick dude were surrounded soon and things looked bleak.
That's when Callahan showed up driving his old Green Jeep Cherokee with Peter David in tow. Peter David jumped out and spoke the counter spell and all the girls were saved. Well, I guess except for the ones I killed. They probably weren't saved. It never came up, my mind can't be bothered with such trivial things. After congratulations were around Peter David asked me how I defended us, did I chop of their heads?
I was like, "Yeah right, who am I Conan the Barbarian? How am I going to chop heads off with an ax? Ask them to lay down on a chopping block while I go to town? I just hit the top of their head with the ax, kill the brain. Well, except for the girl with the really tall beehive thing, I couldn't get through the hair so I nailed her right between the eyes".
He told me that's a pretty cliche way to kill them. I told him to go fuck himself and his run on Spider-man sucked. Callahan laughed and high-fived me. Dream over.
Take THAT Peter David.
For some reason I was in a high school with Liz. I am not sure why as we didn't go to high school together and I'm relatively certain it has been some time since I stepped foot inside a high school. Also, it was the 1980's if the hair and clothing were any indication. Not that Liz and I were dressed that way, just her idiot friends who accidentally unleashed an ancient curse. Her friend opened some strange box thing and was knocked over dead. Her other friends turned into strange demon/zombie things and took off. It was at this point that I decided to note to Liz her friend laying on the ground was actually pretty hot. She told me that was pretty fucked up. So of course I got defensive, I can't mention your friend is hot? I was told it's a little creepy, what with her friend being dead an all. I tried to point out that in my defense I thought she was hot before she was dead, there just hadn't been a good time to bring it up. Liz pointed out now might not be a good time to bring it up either but I mean, I wasn't going to bring it up at the poor girl's funeral, that would just be classless so it was a now or never sort of thing.
Anyway, that's when the dead girl got up and tried to kill us. Liz claimed it was because of the curse but I think she was just pissed that Liz is going around telling people they can't say she's hot. Either way, most of my dream involved running through hall ways with an ax, (I'm not sure where we got it, from the school ax closet perhaps?) and Liz had a tiny hatchet, cause you know, girls are smaller, I guess they can't swing a big ax. Now, because my subconcious knows the rules, I was pretty worthless in this dream, but Liz had all the great ideas. Oh, and we picked up a side kick, a totally 80's little kid who was a little brother of one of the possessed girls, he was all sorts of catch phrase spewing. We got along very well while Liz did the heavy lifting, being the final girl and all (apparently Liz has tricked my dreaming mind into thinking she's some sort of good girl virgin, that's pretty hilarious on it's own). Eventually after killing a few of the girls, which Liz had issue with and I did not (because uh, demon Zombies, they aren't your friends anymore!) we managed to block the door leaving the school with a bench and Liz went to get help. Of course, there were other exits so me and little side kick dude were surrounded soon and things looked bleak.
That's when Callahan showed up driving his old Green Jeep Cherokee with Peter David in tow. Peter David jumped out and spoke the counter spell and all the girls were saved. Well, I guess except for the ones I killed. They probably weren't saved. It never came up, my mind can't be bothered with such trivial things. After congratulations were around Peter David asked me how I defended us, did I chop of their heads?
I was like, "Yeah right, who am I Conan the Barbarian? How am I going to chop heads off with an ax? Ask them to lay down on a chopping block while I go to town? I just hit the top of their head with the ax, kill the brain. Well, except for the girl with the really tall beehive thing, I couldn't get through the hair so I nailed her right between the eyes".
He told me that's a pretty cliche way to kill them. I told him to go fuck himself and his run on Spider-man sucked. Callahan laughed and high-fived me. Dream over.
Take THAT Peter David.