(no subject)
I'm about to shave off my beard. We've had some great times together, and I'll miss it alot. I have to play Needle In The Hay while I shave it haha. I'm still struggling to find a job, and I have to do everything possible. I know that they can make one appear anti-social. I grew it because I wanted to and I didn't want to conform to alot of things I don't like about this world. It wasn't just a beard basically, as stupid as all that is. The reality is though, I can't afford to do that right now. I have to walk on these small stepping stones like someone told me. Holly, who's been a much better friend than I really deserve. I thought that I already did, but I tried to skip some of them and I slipped so now I'm drowning.
Bad Nin lyrics aside, if anyone at all knows of a job or can put in a good word for me I would forever be in their debt. I have looked for a job and tried my hardest, even though nobody believes me haha. I've been a bad worker in the past, but I have had many eye openers. Approximately one every minute. I've burned all my bridges because I could never see a future for myself, but regardless of what happens now I will have one so I'd like it to be a good one. I always had the idea that I've worked all these jobs, done all these stupid things you're supposed to do and that I shouldn't have to anymore. Have I though? I cheated, I fucked around, I haven't done shit really. So I'm ready to conform and do the bullshit that nobody should have to do, but in reality do have to. Nobody gets lucky, nobody gets a free ride, and absolutely everything catches up to you in the end. It wouldn't reflect poorly on you to refer me or anything. There are two types of success in this world I think. One is to survive, and the other is to be happy. If I can't achieve the second goal, than I will achieve the first. I've got to try though. Than perhaps when I've done my part, I can grow it back.