(no subject)
Put on my facebook last week that I need to hire someone to make decisions for me. I'm not an especially decisive person...someone commented that making decisions is easy, it is the follow through that is difficult. I feel very differently about that. I have no problem committing to a decision once it is made, but getting it made is painstaking.
I've been in the process for a new job now for about 2 weeks. It started with the phone interview, then they contacted my references, then I had an interview. It's not my dream job, by any means, but it is a good job at a fantastic company with a lot of room for growth and with insurance. It would be a significant hit in the salary department, but the hours would be more conducive to my natural rhythm. Well, one of the references they called is Mike, and he has asked me to consider what he might do to entice me to stay. He said that he can't promise anything, but he will at least consider anything I propose.
So I started thinking...a raise? A four day work week with built in long weekends? Half days Monday and Friday then long days Tues-Thursday...the door is open to me. And the decision has been very VERY difficult. I worry that I'd be making a mistake to leave this job for one with less money. I worry that I won't be any happier somewhere else. I worry that I will fail. Change is very scary. I spent a night or two crying myself to sleep before I discovered the truth:
I never wanted this. I never wanted to be so important that I could have anything I wanted. I never wanted to feel like it mattered if I left, more to the point, I never wanted it to matter. I like knowing that I do a good job, and it's not even an issue of the workload being too heavy, because I always seem to manage, it's just that I want to be able to be off a day and not worry about what is not getting done or whether the phone is going to ring with some crisis or another. I want to be free when I'm not in the office. This new job can offer me that (minus Crazy Dotti!).
So, I think the decision is made. If they offer me the job, I'm going to take it. If they don't, I'm going to keep looking until someone does. BUT NOW...I have to buck up and tell Mike that there is nothing he can do, and this is not a man accustomed to hearing "no." **sigh**
I've been in the process for a new job now for about 2 weeks. It started with the phone interview, then they contacted my references, then I had an interview. It's not my dream job, by any means, but it is a good job at a fantastic company with a lot of room for growth and with insurance. It would be a significant hit in the salary department, but the hours would be more conducive to my natural rhythm. Well, one of the references they called is Mike, and he has asked me to consider what he might do to entice me to stay. He said that he can't promise anything, but he will at least consider anything I propose.
So I started thinking...a raise? A four day work week with built in long weekends? Half days Monday and Friday then long days Tues-Thursday...the door is open to me. And the decision has been very VERY difficult. I worry that I'd be making a mistake to leave this job for one with less money. I worry that I won't be any happier somewhere else. I worry that I will fail. Change is very scary. I spent a night or two crying myself to sleep before I discovered the truth:
I never wanted this. I never wanted to be so important that I could have anything I wanted. I never wanted to feel like it mattered if I left, more to the point, I never wanted it to matter. I like knowing that I do a good job, and it's not even an issue of the workload being too heavy, because I always seem to manage, it's just that I want to be able to be off a day and not worry about what is not getting done or whether the phone is going to ring with some crisis or another. I want to be free when I'm not in the office. This new job can offer me that (minus Crazy Dotti!).
So, I think the decision is made. If they offer me the job, I'm going to take it. If they don't, I'm going to keep looking until someone does. BUT NOW...I have to buck up and tell Mike that there is nothing he can do, and this is not a man accustomed to hearing "no." **sigh**