what it's like to be me
i am finally back to the life that people have known. i am finally back in my old shoes, but as i return i know my shoes are now different, more experienced, more original, more true, more me. in some aspects i am so proud to be me and i am ready for the challenges, and struggles, and good times, and fun, and fights, and craziness that well take place during the next 26 weeks of my life. i have never thought so much about school, like i have this summer. sometimes the best thing to do is really be alone. i've acted so weird this summer. i often find myself walking to the end of the dock and just sitting there and thinking. i find myself aimlessly staring out my window at boats, and birds, and people. sometimes i'll just walk and walk around or just explore seattle by myself. i watch a lot of tv. but not really because i wanna see jessica simpson confusing herself over chicken and tuna, or not because, the d12 music video is on, or not because the olympics are on. i watch tv because i really get to see how other people are and how they live and how they carry out their lives. i have become so aware of the world around me and i never really knew about so much. i'm extremely lucky to have so many great friends and so many cool people in my life. i can count on so many people and i dunno why but i just really like it. i've thought a lot about religion lately. judaism, christianity, sikhism, buddhism, hinduism, islam, and kaballah. though i don't really have a religion and i don't think about church or praying or god i have become extremely interested in some of the principles in all these religions. i could never become part of just one because they all have flaws and i don't agree with everything, but i like so many of the ideas that they each offer. i've decided to join allhism. my own religion combined with what i like about all religions. yesterday i went to a field and sat in the grass for hours and thought about so many things. for some reason i thought about how i am extremely happy that juliet and michael have hit things off so well. i thought about being a bird and having wings. i know i emphasize it a lot, but i feel so different now then i have ever felt before. i feel new like reincarnated over night. or something. like this fancy, stunning, pure, person. my parents gave me $100 today for taking good care of my cousin. i thought it was too much and unnecessary, but they insisted. i wasn't expecting it at all. sometimes people surprise you in the most strange, weird way. i'm rambling again. i feel so wonderfully stupid. haha.