boys are stupid
eah...i already wrote today...i'm sure i have an addiction. but i forgot how good it is to write how i feel down....so i'm going to try and keep this up.
but i dunno...i'm just frustrated with the opposite sex. this is NOTHING new with me. but i'm sick of it. i wish i would just be content with where i with boys. i told myself, no more worring no more bitching...just let is happen. whatever it is. whatever is meant to be. that went well...for about a week. and now i'm just sick of it. why do i worry about it? life is generally good? not perfect but good. i've made good friends...of the girl and guy kind. i go out and i have fun...i stay in and i have fun. why do i still worry about it? honestly!
i don' think it's a survival technique cause if cave woman were this preoccupied no one would ever eat or find food or start fires. they would die lonely and hungry.
maybe i'm too picky.
maybe i really don't like being alone...but who does?
i also think it's impossible to find freshman boys who are in it for more than the booty. honestly. but now that i think about it...lee has a good bf. steph recently found one. ktj still has her man. okay so that's a lie. maybe the one's i'm attracted to are the one's only in it for the booty? or i am only in it for the booty? BAH
i don't think so...but i just said i don't think...no where in that sentence was i know.
i guess what keeps it at the forefront as well is that i am friends with two girls who don't even have to work to find guys. they are in the freaking palm of their hand. all the time. they flock. my girl rickey...love her to death..honestly i do. but her power over boys is ammmazing.
okay today...scene in the gym
rickey and i laying on the ground in front of the bins doing our ab work out.
hot guy...let me repeat..HOT guy comes up to us.
hey rickey
ummm hey
you don't remember me do you?
well...um....yeah umm,.,
followed by more stumbling and bumbling the guy starting to feel silly when rickey blurts out...
oh no...i remember you...WE MADE OUT!
yeah..yeah we did...i'm glad you remember
lots of smiles happy happy
the guy is relieved that she pulls out of her butt that they made out. drunkenly no less. and that suddenly makes his day. that this girl..who that night had gotten with in total 3 boys....remembered his face. his name? that's a whole other story.
me? i fell for a boy this fall. ended in disaster. partly do to drunkeness and my own stupidity. and also his drunkeness and just being a boy. who doesn't want anything steady whatsoever.
am i one of those people who isn't happpy until they have a steady serious relationship? i really hope not. i did that once. i don't want to do it like THAT again.
so okay...this is what i'm thinking now...maybe i really don't want anything right now either. maybe i'm up for the running around having fun whatever deal. but then why am i still upset about things? do i just pretend i'm content with little things but really deep down inside want bigger? or am i just frustrated that i don't have my pick of randomness. my randomness is not so random. kinda second string...leftovers. bah.
i think the more i think about it the worse it gets. aka gettng nowhere.
i am back to where i started. stop wasting my time and let things happen naturally as they do. and not to force it. cause if i try to force it...it just messes things up. things stray from their natural path.
with that...here comes briana's be happy with the opposite sex plan
1) stop worrying
2) enjoy the moment..that's what i've got right now.
3)one of these days...maybe tomorrow...maybe 2 weeks from now...maybe 2 years...i'll meet someone who's good for me. appropriate, as they say. remember as my sister says... i had to go to paris to find him.
enough..my apologies for babbling...i think i need to buy a journal :P
but i dunno...i'm just frustrated with the opposite sex. this is NOTHING new with me. but i'm sick of it. i wish i would just be content with where i with boys. i told myself, no more worring no more bitching...just let is happen. whatever it is. whatever is meant to be. that went well...for about a week. and now i'm just sick of it. why do i worry about it? life is generally good? not perfect but good. i've made good friends...of the girl and guy kind. i go out and i have fun...i stay in and i have fun. why do i still worry about it? honestly!
i don' think it's a survival technique cause if cave woman were this preoccupied no one would ever eat or find food or start fires. they would die lonely and hungry.
maybe i'm too picky.
maybe i really don't like being alone...but who does?
i also think it's impossible to find freshman boys who are in it for more than the booty. honestly. but now that i think about it...lee has a good bf. steph recently found one. ktj still has her man. okay so that's a lie. maybe the one's i'm attracted to are the one's only in it for the booty? or i am only in it for the booty? BAH
i don't think so...but i just said i don't think...no where in that sentence was i know.
i guess what keeps it at the forefront as well is that i am friends with two girls who don't even have to work to find guys. they are in the freaking palm of their hand. all the time. they flock. my girl rickey...love her to death..honestly i do. but her power over boys is ammmazing.
okay today...scene in the gym
rickey and i laying on the ground in front of the bins doing our ab work out.
hot guy...let me repeat..HOT guy comes up to us.
hey rickey
ummm hey
you don't remember me do you?
well...um....yeah umm,.,
followed by more stumbling and bumbling the guy starting to feel silly when rickey blurts out...
oh no...i remember you...WE MADE OUT!
yeah..yeah we did...i'm glad you remember
lots of smiles happy happy
the guy is relieved that she pulls out of her butt that they made out. drunkenly no less. and that suddenly makes his day. that this girl..who that night had gotten with in total 3 boys....remembered his face. his name? that's a whole other story.
me? i fell for a boy this fall. ended in disaster. partly do to drunkeness and my own stupidity. and also his drunkeness and just being a boy. who doesn't want anything steady whatsoever.
am i one of those people who isn't happpy until they have a steady serious relationship? i really hope not. i did that once. i don't want to do it like THAT again.
so okay...this is what i'm thinking now...maybe i really don't want anything right now either. maybe i'm up for the running around having fun whatever deal. but then why am i still upset about things? do i just pretend i'm content with little things but really deep down inside want bigger? or am i just frustrated that i don't have my pick of randomness. my randomness is not so random. kinda second string...leftovers. bah.
i think the more i think about it the worse it gets. aka gettng nowhere.
i am back to where i started. stop wasting my time and let things happen naturally as they do. and not to force it. cause if i try to force it...it just messes things up. things stray from their natural path.
with that...here comes briana's be happy with the opposite sex plan
1) stop worrying
2) enjoy the moment..that's what i've got right now.
3)one of these days...maybe tomorrow...maybe 2 weeks from now...maybe 2 years...i'll meet someone who's good for me. appropriate, as they say. remember as my sister says... i had to go to paris to find him.
enough..my apologies for babbling...i think i need to buy a journal :P