and it disappears into the sunset...
i was thinking about it tonight and as of sunday, my summer fun freetime is gone. i think i will spend 80 percent of my waking hour working. i guess that really was my goal, but it's daunting to realize it's right there. and i had come up with some really fun ideas for the summer and i don't think they will get to do any of them. that's sad.
i mean i had plenty of free time the first two weeks i was home. but i had the gloomy find a job cloud hanging over my head, bad weather, and no money to do anything truly exciting. i did do some fun things like movies, and hang out with my friends. but no too much TRUE summer fun, you know?
but on the positive sides, the two jobs are decent experiences. something that will get my foot in the door for at least other summer jobs.
two i will be rich with little time to spend it. if i'm smart over first semester and work some when i'm home in janruary i will have no worries about money in south africa. this means i can have a grand old time, near a beach mind you, and so i will eventually get some of my summer back.
in other news, i keep coming back to the feeling this spring i was used. i was a convienence. i can't decide if that' s irrational, or it holds some truth. i wish i didn't have such a desire to be wanted and totally included. if i didn't have that i wouldn't make 90 percent of the mistakes i do and i wouldn't get hurt like i do. argh. i frustrate myself.
i had forgot about the kind of people that work in restaurants. when they aren't college students trying to make a buck, you run into people who've started to shut off their brain and instead concentrate on being the best food describer ever. i feel like i respect those who make the food more then those who sell it. the people that make it have to have actual training and some type of original vision. i guess i almost classify it as an art. unlike those who are just selling selling selling. maybe that's my "i'm in college hippie perspective." but with that thought i couldn't go into straight sales. i'd feel like a big fraud. i guess advertising is a little bit better, cause there is some creativity and poetry that goes into it, but i'm starting to think i'd prefer plenty of things over that.
if my writing got better, i would love to write travel books for a living. maybe not forever, but maybe like 5 years or something. travel places, do research, and figure out where the really good stuff is. then come up with some catchy creative book and write about it. that would be an amazing job. getting paid to write and travel. DUH. i have this feeling it must be really hard to get into it for just that reason. hrm something to think about.
once again i thank my parents for my college education and my high expectations in life goals, friends, and ideas. i'm learning again that will truly serve me well.
i mean i had plenty of free time the first two weeks i was home. but i had the gloomy find a job cloud hanging over my head, bad weather, and no money to do anything truly exciting. i did do some fun things like movies, and hang out with my friends. but no too much TRUE summer fun, you know?
but on the positive sides, the two jobs are decent experiences. something that will get my foot in the door for at least other summer jobs.
two i will be rich with little time to spend it. if i'm smart over first semester and work some when i'm home in janruary i will have no worries about money in south africa. this means i can have a grand old time, near a beach mind you, and so i will eventually get some of my summer back.
in other news, i keep coming back to the feeling this spring i was used. i was a convienence. i can't decide if that' s irrational, or it holds some truth. i wish i didn't have such a desire to be wanted and totally included. if i didn't have that i wouldn't make 90 percent of the mistakes i do and i wouldn't get hurt like i do. argh. i frustrate myself.
i had forgot about the kind of people that work in restaurants. when they aren't college students trying to make a buck, you run into people who've started to shut off their brain and instead concentrate on being the best food describer ever. i feel like i respect those who make the food more then those who sell it. the people that make it have to have actual training and some type of original vision. i guess i almost classify it as an art. unlike those who are just selling selling selling. maybe that's my "i'm in college hippie perspective." but with that thought i couldn't go into straight sales. i'd feel like a big fraud. i guess advertising is a little bit better, cause there is some creativity and poetry that goes into it, but i'm starting to think i'd prefer plenty of things over that.
if my writing got better, i would love to write travel books for a living. maybe not forever, but maybe like 5 years or something. travel places, do research, and figure out where the really good stuff is. then come up with some catchy creative book and write about it. that would be an amazing job. getting paid to write and travel. DUH. i have this feeling it must be really hard to get into it for just that reason. hrm something to think about.
once again i thank my parents for my college education and my high expectations in life goals, friends, and ideas. i'm learning again that will truly serve me well.