To wanting something too much
What all do I consider worthy of my wanting it this much? Probably the things that my conscience says I ought to want and knows I love, yet just don't enter my life because I can't give them the time. I can't give them the time when I have too much of it. So do I really even love those things like I have always said I do? I have spent my time, instead, wont to wanting, giving energy mostly unwillingly to that which intrinsically will probably forever demand all too much of my energy. The proportions are all skewed and when I think enough, there is such a basic solution... why not just not care about that, and instead care about that?
I may not really want to not care about it, and I am trying to write my way through it. But instead I am just going through the same thought processes I have always gone through. I haven't learned anything, and I typically don't learn from experience. I'm not upset that I haven't learned anything because then I would be far too content for far too long and that seems boring. I said that there is a big stripe down the middle and two symmetrical stripes on each side of that. Oh how good I am at building them up. No, I haven't built anything up, I just give too much attention to my anticipation.
The best part is that the solution is so simple and so achievable, but something that has been in me from the start won't let me cut my hair.
I'm trying to ride my bike or play soccer but the heat is goddamn extreme, so instead I am relegated to indoor shitty time takers. Soccer will come back into my life now, I guarantee it. Also, I am proud of my friends; you will know what I mean soon.
I may not really want to not care about it, and I am trying to write my way through it. But instead I am just going through the same thought processes I have always gone through. I haven't learned anything, and I typically don't learn from experience. I'm not upset that I haven't learned anything because then I would be far too content for far too long and that seems boring. I said that there is a big stripe down the middle and two symmetrical stripes on each side of that. Oh how good I am at building them up. No, I haven't built anything up, I just give too much attention to my anticipation.
The best part is that the solution is so simple and so achievable, but something that has been in me from the start won't let me cut my hair.
I'm trying to ride my bike or play soccer but the heat is goddamn extreme, so instead I am relegated to indoor shitty time takers. Soccer will come back into my life now, I guarantee it. Also, I am proud of my friends; you will know what I mean soon.