moving...
My usage had already been dropping off over the years, but I've been remarkably more silent on LJ this year--especially given how much stuff has actually been going on. There are various reasons for this, most prominent of which is a simple lack of time. That's not to say that I have had no downtime at all, but amongst all of the things I've been doing this year, LJ has sadly not risen to the top with any frequency.
In the meantime, I've made plenty of tweets and Facebook posts. Of course those short blurbs rarely capture the depth of my actual experience. I just made such a post earlier today, but I really feel the need to expound on it a bit. So here I am on LJ to do just that.
My work is moving to a new office sometime in the next month or so. In the meantime, we're reshuffling a bit at our current office to free up equipment and furniture that can be moved to the new office in advance so we can minimize downtime. As a result, I had to move from the cubicle I've been in for several years to one in the next row over. Also, the destination cube is about 1/3 smaller. I have literally crammed stacks of equipment into much less space as well as taken the opportunity to throw away a bunch of things.
At any rate, as part of the moving process I took down all the pictures that have been hanging in my cubicle. Here's a completely unrelated picture from several months ago showing the wall where most of the pictures were hanging in the background: http://twitpic.com/1a9pjj Those pictures represent some of the best times and people from approximately the last decade of my life. As I took down these pictures, I noted the people and things that have been important to me in that time, which of those have persisted, and which have not. There were many surprises in both categories. The experience was quite sobering, and in many cases, bittersweet.
Preparing my office to move has made me take note of how much my life has done the same: moved. Where I'm at today from just a year ago feels like I've journeyed from a distant land. I'm thankful for all of the people and experiences that have been a part of it--even the ones that haven't turned out as I had planned or hoped.
It's been challenging, to be sure. It's been a year of adjustment, experimentation, contemplation, and the inevitable mistakes. But it's also been a year of discovery, joy, excitement, closure, and new beginnings. I've learned a lot and a lot about myself. I've questioned long-standing methods and preferences and learned I was doing many things for all the wrong reasons.
I've found out I had deluded myself from many issues over the years I just didn't want to face or wasn't prepared to deal with. I'm being forced to or forcing myself to deal with as many as possible now and it can be overwhelming. I've definitely had some breakdowns this year. They're scary and unfamiliar to me as I've been suppressing them for so long, but it has also become clear to me that such suppression is often just as harmful and often even more destructive in the long run.
My stress level has definitely been at an all-time high lately, but at least I feel like I'm moving forward. And one thing hasn't changed: I'm still an optimist. I feel like I'm headed toward something good. Regardless, the motion itself feels better than being mired in continued stagnation.
In the meantime, I've made plenty of tweets and Facebook posts. Of course those short blurbs rarely capture the depth of my actual experience. I just made such a post earlier today, but I really feel the need to expound on it a bit. So here I am on LJ to do just that.
My work is moving to a new office sometime in the next month or so. In the meantime, we're reshuffling a bit at our current office to free up equipment and furniture that can be moved to the new office in advance so we can minimize downtime. As a result, I had to move from the cubicle I've been in for several years to one in the next row over. Also, the destination cube is about 1/3 smaller. I have literally crammed stacks of equipment into much less space as well as taken the opportunity to throw away a bunch of things.
At any rate, as part of the moving process I took down all the pictures that have been hanging in my cubicle. Here's a completely unrelated picture from several months ago showing the wall where most of the pictures were hanging in the background: http://twitpic.com/1a9pjj Those pictures represent some of the best times and people from approximately the last decade of my life. As I took down these pictures, I noted the people and things that have been important to me in that time, which of those have persisted, and which have not. There were many surprises in both categories. The experience was quite sobering, and in many cases, bittersweet.
Preparing my office to move has made me take note of how much my life has done the same: moved. Where I'm at today from just a year ago feels like I've journeyed from a distant land. I'm thankful for all of the people and experiences that have been a part of it--even the ones that haven't turned out as I had planned or hoped.
It's been challenging, to be sure. It's been a year of adjustment, experimentation, contemplation, and the inevitable mistakes. But it's also been a year of discovery, joy, excitement, closure, and new beginnings. I've learned a lot and a lot about myself. I've questioned long-standing methods and preferences and learned I was doing many things for all the wrong reasons.
I've found out I had deluded myself from many issues over the years I just didn't want to face or wasn't prepared to deal with. I'm being forced to or forcing myself to deal with as many as possible now and it can be overwhelming. I've definitely had some breakdowns this year. They're scary and unfamiliar to me as I've been suppressing them for so long, but it has also become clear to me that such suppression is often just as harmful and often even more destructive in the long run.
My stress level has definitely been at an all-time high lately, but at least I feel like I'm moving forward. And one thing hasn't changed: I'm still an optimist. I feel like I'm headed toward something good. Regardless, the motion itself feels better than being mired in continued stagnation.