i love you darlin untill the day i die

[briane]

joan of the arc had said : i am not afraid...i was born to do this

i need to take those words and incorperate them into my life.
truer words have never been spoken. i have this fear that i
am only good at hair here in VB and in MY salon...i dont no
if its because im scared and it probably is..but i cant bring
myself to want to leave here. i just like it. i love ryan with all
my heart and theres going to be this moment when it dawns on me and
i cant take it anymore and i feel that that time is coming soon.

i just feel out of place here right now. i feel like everything around me
is fake. those are harsh words but i dont know how else to explain it.
i feel like everyone around me feels bad for me or something, and maybe im
being really "all about me" but i cant help it. i just feel empty.

my car got towed yesterday from bielat and suzannes house last night and it
was gay! How do you tow a car thats in the damn visitors parking space? well
let me tell you there has to be a damn rocket scientist involved! the guy was
a complete idiot and i wouldnt have minded kicking him one good time if you
know what i mean. he had the never to tell me the credit card i gave him
wasnt mine! raarrr now i have t try to raise some hell cause that was 120 dollars
i didnt have! oh well shit happens i guess.....

had my 21st bday and it was good. things are much better once your the magical age.
the funny thing is i never could imagine what i would be like at this age. its just
crazy to think about.

im gonna go dirnk a beer.. im out...