(no subject)
i have no idea what to do. i really just dont get it. thats everything these days. i just have no idea. ive lost the ability to get my feelings across without completely losing it. So i sit in silence. and say nothing cuz i just am so back and forth about it. and really, should i care? should i be making this big deal? or should i just let it go. i feel like im letting go in the sense that if nothing happens. if we dont recover or resolve that this is just how it is supposed to be. life happens. but i cant go down with out a fight. i mean i have to try and keep this friendship alive. not being friends cuz of some bitch? yeah no i dont like letting that happen. granted. we have been friends what 6 months and i feel like its been years. i just dont know how to communicate without hurting or hating on someone. I dont want to point fingers i want to address behavior. and you know what mother fucker? i didnt do anything! so you can take your smug attitude and cocky shit and shove it. cuz i know that you know you are fucking up royally. now if i can figure out a way to talk about it. this whole being shitty to each other needs to end. over it. its the most frustrating thing in the world how can we go literally one day being able to talk about everything and anything and all this stuff and the next day cant look each other in the eye. im not gonna chase you. i deserve more than you resorting to that. but then again you have no idea what you are doing either. you have no idea how to care about a person that doesnt have your blood in it for more than 90 days. time to learn. I need an outlet that doesnt involve alcohol. UGH.