(no subject)

[briana_riana]

alone.sick. i just want to be taken care of. but no. ppl once again let me down. and i cant blame anybody but myself. cuz i keep letting the same thing happen over and over. i keep falling for the same guy and have these wild expectations. psh. im so dumb. but i see his heart. i do. he just wont let me touch it. and my bff. gone. i never knew i hurt him like i did. all we did was hurt each other. but we loved each other? and now that its over he wants to tell me he felt the way i did. he just like waited for me to break to prove himself right? he sabatoged himself cuz he was afraid that i could actually love him? cuz i did and i do and i always will. cuz im stupid that way. if i let him go he will come back? i dont know. my life doesnt work that way. everything is just a lesson learned. my soul has returned. just in time for me to give it away again. dumb dumb dumb. and in a lot of pain that drugs or alcohol or sleep cant take away cuz then i just dream it. i cant get away.

i am replacable. i guess crazy ppl are replaceable. i mean we are everywhere. i just i dont lie. i dont tell ppl i love them and dont. i dont tell ppl they mean the world to me and they dont. i dont tell ppl they have this effect on my life and then fucking ditch them for some ass. i just dont do that. but it seems that its really easy for other ppl to do that. but if i left or was in a bad mood or just hated life im the worst friend to happen. ya know what. fuck you. you dont think twice about my shit but im constantly thinking about you. my bad. my everything really