50 things we wish girls knew, w/ commentary
We aren’t mind readers!
***True. Most of the time we don't know what to say to make you feel better.
We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
***Most guys, probably don't care.
When you sleep over never boss me around in bed unless it is during sex.
***Nagging is terrible.
Smoking is the biggest turn off.
***Duh.
It never hurts to work out.
***Being healthy is a big part of being happy, and I'm all for it.
If you don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
***Not from me anyways. Most guys though will try to guess what you want to hear, and tell you that.
“Fine” or “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
***Indeed. That doesn't settle anything, and I see it as quitting.
If you want sex, just ask. (In case you didn’t already know.)
***Don't ask. Just do. Asking makes it seem like a practical idea, instead of a passionate decision.
Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those scripts).
***That's where I get my lines, and I say them as much as possible. But most guys don't try.
Only models are able to wear most of the stuff you see in fashion magazines.
***Fashion magazines are gay. If you make an attempt to look nice, I would notice.
No guy will complain if he comes home and sees you in one of the following outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, or just plain naked.
***True statement. Unless, there is another guy there already.
You don’t need lingerie to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and a tank top are fine by us.
*** Wow very true.
Girls look good naked so stop worrying.
*** Um, not neccesarily. But most of the time, yes.
Sharing your deepest feelings in no way guarantees reciprocity.
*** True for most guys. The top echelon of guys would though.
We are all kinky and willing to try anything that you may enjoy, just let us know.
*** Again, not neccesarily. But guys are usually open to suggestions.
Every so often no matter whether it is true or not remind us that we have the biggest penis you’ve ever dealt with.
***Don't remind us of other peninses. Saying that you like it though, thats cool.
If were not getting love we’ll start looking…(haha…just kidding…psych…I’m dead serious)
*** Quoted for truth "Men are WEAK." I'd say 70-80% of the time, this would be true.
The greatest thing ever is to watch a girl touch herself.
*** I'd say watching a girl touch myself would be the greatest thing.
Most of the time when I fantasize it is about another person.
*** Not true for me at least.
If you, the girl, make out with another girl we won’t consider it cheating. Actually we strongly promote this behavior.
*** I wouldn't say strongly promote, but it probably wouldn't bother me all that much. Lesbians don't threaten me:)
Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a quarter inch missing.
*** I notice stuff like that. But most of the time there is a pre-warning "im getting my haircut next week" That's when you should start looking.
You shouldn’t be flattered or grossed out if we get an erection when dancing with you. All we need is Friction.
*** Sometimes not even friction.
Porn…hmmm…Porn. Watching porn is like breathing it would just be wrong to ask us to stop.
*** I don't need it when I have the real thing.
We masturbate, usually more when we are in a relationship, can’t explain it but it is just fact.
*** I don't think it has anything to do with relationships, it's a fact of life.
Blue balls are not sporting equipment. Didn’t your parents teach you not to quit.
*** Only had it once, and it actually IS painful.
Giving head is never a bad idea.
*** + 1 for this one.
We are conservationists at heart, water is our biggest love, so shower with us.
*** Eh, special occasions yeah. But I like hot water.
There are three acceptable ways to wake up: (1) You on top of us. (2) Getting head. (3) Some sort of breakfast.
*** 2 is not realistic, the other two are fine though
We don’t mind going to gay movies with you but don’t tell our friends.
*** I don't mind.
You can’t hold it against us if we cry after sports movies or “Old yeller.”
*** We don't hold it against you.
“The game is on” is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious conversation.
*** Screw the game;)
Any harsh contact with the testicles should be assumed a serious injury but soft caresses are strongly encouraged.
*** Hahaha
You’re probably not as funny as you think.
*** Yes you are.
Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one more girl say “he’s so hot” he may have to die.
*** Agreed.
Your period should be referred to as Blowjob week. (Influenced by a Maxim article)
*** That should be every week.
Cooking makes a girl that much more attractive especially if she can use a grill.
*** Hell yes.
You can’t get mad if we refuse to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of our friends.
*** True.
For every fart that slips out when you are around we successfully hold in about 15, enduring excruciating pain to do this.
*** If we like you, we don't hold it in.
If we want to take naked pictures of you it is because we are proud and want to show you off to our friends.
*** I don't like to share. But if I ask, it's because I am proud and want to gloat to myself:)
The red light means the video camera is off.
*** HAHAHAHA
A guy should be considered sensitive if he asks whether you want to do it with the lights on or off.
*** Lame.
Whip cream and chocolate syrup are not just condiments for ice cream also Altoids just don’t make your breath fresher.
*** Food and Sex don't mix in my opinion.
Nothing you will ever do will entitle you to operate the remote control. (Unless operating means handing it to us.)
*** I don't care, as long as it's not lifetime or something gay like that.
The only thing left to be said after sex is “goodnight.”
*** I don't think sex should be the last thing you do for the day, so I disagree.
Video games have helped us develop such finger skills that should only encourage us to play more often.
*** Yeah I doubt it.
Critiquing our driving is only second to critiquing our love making.
*** VERY true.
Guys nights out are sacred events. If we answer questions we could be castrated.
*** That sounds gay.
If you ask us to go shopping you have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room.
*** We entertain that thought while we're there anyways.
The jeans don’t make your ass look fat. Your fat ass makes your ass look fat.
*** I'm a fan of confidence. Thinking you're ugly makes you less attractive.
99.5% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you.
***99.7% of the time, we don't know what we did.
***True. Most of the time we don't know what to say to make you feel better.
We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
***Most guys, probably don't care.
When you sleep over never boss me around in bed unless it is during sex.
***Nagging is terrible.
Smoking is the biggest turn off.
***Duh.
It never hurts to work out.
***Being healthy is a big part of being happy, and I'm all for it.
If you don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
***Not from me anyways. Most guys though will try to guess what you want to hear, and tell you that.
“Fine” or “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
***Indeed. That doesn't settle anything, and I see it as quitting.
If you want sex, just ask. (In case you didn’t already know.)
***Don't ask. Just do. Asking makes it seem like a practical idea, instead of a passionate decision.
Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those scripts).
***That's where I get my lines, and I say them as much as possible. But most guys don't try.
Only models are able to wear most of the stuff you see in fashion magazines.
***Fashion magazines are gay. If you make an attempt to look nice, I would notice.
No guy will complain if he comes home and sees you in one of the following outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, or just plain naked.
***True statement. Unless, there is another guy there already.
You don’t need lingerie to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and a tank top are fine by us.
*** Wow very true.
Girls look good naked so stop worrying.
*** Um, not neccesarily. But most of the time, yes.
Sharing your deepest feelings in no way guarantees reciprocity.
*** True for most guys. The top echelon of guys would though.
We are all kinky and willing to try anything that you may enjoy, just let us know.
*** Again, not neccesarily. But guys are usually open to suggestions.
Every so often no matter whether it is true or not remind us that we have the biggest penis you’ve ever dealt with.
***Don't remind us of other peninses. Saying that you like it though, thats cool.
If were not getting love we’ll start looking…(haha…just kidding…psych…I’m dead serious)
*** Quoted for truth "Men are WEAK." I'd say 70-80% of the time, this would be true.
The greatest thing ever is to watch a girl touch herself.
*** I'd say watching a girl touch myself would be the greatest thing.
Most of the time when I fantasize it is about another person.
*** Not true for me at least.
If you, the girl, make out with another girl we won’t consider it cheating. Actually we strongly promote this behavior.
*** I wouldn't say strongly promote, but it probably wouldn't bother me all that much. Lesbians don't threaten me:)
Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a quarter inch missing.
*** I notice stuff like that. But most of the time there is a pre-warning "im getting my haircut next week" That's when you should start looking.
You shouldn’t be flattered or grossed out if we get an erection when dancing with you. All we need is Friction.
*** Sometimes not even friction.
Porn…hmmm…Porn. Watching porn is like breathing it would just be wrong to ask us to stop.
*** I don't need it when I have the real thing.
We masturbate, usually more when we are in a relationship, can’t explain it but it is just fact.
*** I don't think it has anything to do with relationships, it's a fact of life.
Blue balls are not sporting equipment. Didn’t your parents teach you not to quit.
*** Only had it once, and it actually IS painful.
Giving head is never a bad idea.
*** + 1 for this one.
We are conservationists at heart, water is our biggest love, so shower with us.
*** Eh, special occasions yeah. But I like hot water.
There are three acceptable ways to wake up: (1) You on top of us. (2) Getting head. (3) Some sort of breakfast.
*** 2 is not realistic, the other two are fine though
We don’t mind going to gay movies with you but don’t tell our friends.
*** I don't mind.
You can’t hold it against us if we cry after sports movies or “Old yeller.”
*** We don't hold it against you.
“The game is on” is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious conversation.
*** Screw the game;)
Any harsh contact with the testicles should be assumed a serious injury but soft caresses are strongly encouraged.
*** Hahaha
You’re probably not as funny as you think.
*** Yes you are.
Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one more girl say “he’s so hot” he may have to die.
*** Agreed.
Your period should be referred to as Blowjob week. (Influenced by a Maxim article)
*** That should be every week.
Cooking makes a girl that much more attractive especially if she can use a grill.
*** Hell yes.
You can’t get mad if we refuse to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of our friends.
*** True.
For every fart that slips out when you are around we successfully hold in about 15, enduring excruciating pain to do this.
*** If we like you, we don't hold it in.
If we want to take naked pictures of you it is because we are proud and want to show you off to our friends.
*** I don't like to share. But if I ask, it's because I am proud and want to gloat to myself:)
The red light means the video camera is off.
*** HAHAHAHA
A guy should be considered sensitive if he asks whether you want to do it with the lights on or off.
*** Lame.
Whip cream and chocolate syrup are not just condiments for ice cream also Altoids just don’t make your breath fresher.
*** Food and Sex don't mix in my opinion.
Nothing you will ever do will entitle you to operate the remote control. (Unless operating means handing it to us.)
*** I don't care, as long as it's not lifetime or something gay like that.
The only thing left to be said after sex is “goodnight.”
*** I don't think sex should be the last thing you do for the day, so I disagree.
Video games have helped us develop such finger skills that should only encourage us to play more often.
*** Yeah I doubt it.
Critiquing our driving is only second to critiquing our love making.
*** VERY true.
Guys nights out are sacred events. If we answer questions we could be castrated.
*** That sounds gay.
If you ask us to go shopping you have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room.
*** We entertain that thought while we're there anyways.
The jeans don’t make your ass look fat. Your fat ass makes your ass look fat.
*** I'm a fan of confidence. Thinking you're ugly makes you less attractive.
99.5% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you.
***99.7% of the time, we don't know what we did.