When I Get Bored I Write.....

[brian_b_166]

Im really bored ....... Really really bored. Also pretty mentally drained from the day. Im in one of those moods where im ready to go to bed however i know despite how tired i am i wont get to sleep untill about midnight. I was supposed to go up to Nashville with Tristen to a rave, but we never got our shit together so ..... here i am at home. I guess its probably better that i didn't go. I probably would have crashed out long before he would have, and got home about five in the morning exhausted. It also probably would have ruined my Friday night considering the fact that i would have been physically exhausted from the previous night. I have no clue what is going on this weekend. It seems like i should however i never do. Im feeling a tad bit emo which is A) rare for me because im almost never emo, and B) makes me hate the fact that i am feeling emo so it's more of an angry sadness drawn out by my own head. I can usually pull myself out of it mentally, but there is a certain point in which you just cant do it. Your too tired, and the only thing you can do is dementedly laugh without meaning a single noise of it. When i feel emo i eat alot ..... I mean ALOT. I have eaten way too much tonight starting with peanut butter wafers, Little Debbies, Ice cream sandwich, Beef Jerkey, Mcdonalds, Spagettii, Oranges, and almost an entire bag of the bugal munchie things. Thats also pissing me off because i shouldent have eaten all of it, and now my stomach is cramping. Anyways im going to bed.... No use in being awake if your going to be pissed at the fact that your pissed at yourself. The only thing it can do is grow more and more.

For instance now im thinking i know why im so pissed. It's because something very important happened today, and it seemed like no one at all remembered even though last night they all knew i was freakin out about it. Only one person asked how it went, and thats because i snuck in his house and woke him up.

Fuck it .... Im going to bed to terminate these bad thoughts. Perhaps i can controll them in dream form.

Tommorow will be better.