(no subject)
So I wanted to make an entry on my boring trip to the mall, but I don't know if I can convey it in a way that is entertaining, but me being the 'creative' writer that I am, I will give it the old college try.
It's saturday: I slept in very late, not realizing that Saturday was my only full day of my vacation at the moment, but once my eyes focused on the clock in the guest room did I realize I was wasting my vacation sleeping; On a floor no less (no extra bed, it was in storage). My shower was way better than any of the ones I've had here at home. The water pressure was just blissful, it almost stung it was so strong. Didn't feel like shaving (thus the scruffy picture), and my mother made pancakes. I do enjoy being cooked for, and pancakes are a personal favorite of mine.
Lets skip this and go straight to the car ride to the mall.
So its my mother me and sis in the car.
ok... lets skip the car part. To the mall.
We're there. So here is the first dilema, mom wants to buy me some stuff, but I'd rather go buy my own stuff and not be nagged into buying anything I don't really want. Second dilema, mom says that since I don't have a cell phone (she seems to be peev'd by the fact that I don't have nor want a cell phone) we can't get seperated or we won't find each other for a while. So not even 5 minutes into our mall visit I find it impossible to actually get my mother out of JC Penny's then it hits me really hard, why the fuck am I shopping with my mom and acting like I can't go where I want to. So I wait outside for her to stop looking at things that we didn't come to the mall to look at. So I take off and leave on my own. Leaving mom to her own mall voyage.
First stop for me was the sharper image store. Man, this was lame sauce to the second power. Their obvious attraction was their assortment of massagers and massaging chairs. Oddly enough every single one of them were occupied by women. This raises an eyebrow, as I wonder just how much 'fun' these women are having in these massaging chairs. There were a few younger girls in that store too, with much distastefulness they were shouting out "it tickles my butt". I made my way as far back as the store would allow to escape their jovial shouts of their chirapsia encounter. I came across a Tetris game, and decided to give it a shot, but this version was very lacking. All it had going for it was the tetris music. I was finished with this store and I then decided to move onward.
Then their was a period of activity that I totally forgot but during that time I ran into my mom and sister again. So we walked together for a while but once again my mother insisted on entering a store that I could not and was not willing to follow her into. I approached a spencers, with halloween decorations all over the place, but this little spencers was crammed full of people and I was not willing to fight a crowd just to browse their shit. So I sat outside of the Macys in a very comfy chair. My freaking legs were getting sore already, I couldn't believe it. So I took about a 20 minute rest, and decided to watch the ladies. I think ever girl who was semi attractive was on their cell phone. That makes sense though, I mean who is going to wanna call the ugly girl's cell phone. Then my sister sits down near me. She says she lost mom in macy's. Cool beans, so we waste time just sitting their, and I was wondering where I was going to find some sandles/flip flops (whatever you want to call them).
I then decide to go over to the T-mobile booth in the middle of the mall and look at their phones. I was quickly greeted by an asian fellow by the name of paul, and he asked me if I was buying a phone. I told him I was just interested in looking at the phones and that I didn't really want one. He then started asking me questions, obviously he was trying to find something in my answers to grasp onto. I wasn't having any of that. While I looked at the phone I answered his questions. I said I don't call anyone, but my boss and thats only if I can't meet him. So he asked a few more phone questions then I noticed he started to block my view of the phones with a book/brochure of some sorts. So not having any way to look at the phones or see their prices I had to play his game his way. I'm desperately trying to remember the questions he asked me (I would have killed for a tape recorder for this conversation). He asked me if I had friends and family I wanted to call, and I said "not really". He then said "You don't have any friends"? "Yup, that's right, I don't need em" was my reply. I didn't think this would leave him much room to work with, but it seems like he had a very complete script in his head that he needed to play out. He then asked me if I had a "significant other" instead of saying "girlfriend", but hey this is California,I guess he was just thinking progressively. I said, "fuck that, noise", he when said "word". I didn't understand what either of us was really saying, but somehow I knew no matter what either of us said it was going to move us on to another question. Then he leads in with the comment that "I could check to see if you qualified for a phone, if you had a credit card". I then told him that I indeed have a credit card. He seem a little stunned like he lost his place in his script and was trying to back up. He asked me if I wanted to see if I could be approved for a phone, I said I didn't want to sign anything and didn't want to recieve offers, phone calls, emails, or a bill. He assured me it was nothing more than a quick credit check of sorts. So I fill out his little form and write my name horribly , so he would be unable to pronounce it, but then he asked me to please print my name, which he then quickly read and proceeded to use for the rest of the conversation. He then asked me to step around to the side of the counter. Ok time for a paragraph.
Wow, what an improvement, I moved a whole 90 degrees to the right of the booth. He then asked me if I liked to surf as he was typing in the information onto his computer. "Oh hell yeah, I love to surf" I replied. He then asked me "where do I go to surf". I paused, "Well I enjoy my own computer and internet connection, but if I must I'll use a library internet connection". Paul then looked at me and said "oh, no. Not that kinda surf". "OHH, no way man, what the hell do I look like some kind of a beach bum"? Silly me though I was wearing my Laguna Beach Surfing t-shirt, but dude my skin is so pale, I'm whiter than an egg, no surfer could ever be so pail unless they wore a body suit 24/7. "Hey ! Congratulations! Guess what?!" said paul. "..." said I. "You've been approved to have 2 phones". "well isn't that cool, if only I wanted a phone". replied I. He then told me a bunch of information which I wasn't listening to because I was staring at this japanese girls ass. I saw the girl bend over and I said "Dayum! ('damn' incase I spelled that wrong)" and paul said "I can tell you're excited about this". huh wha? Oh yeah, excited. He then tries his selling tactics, like he thinks he has closed the deal on me. We had a little back and forth conversing.
How many minutes can we sign you up for? Dude, I don't want a phone. It's very useful in an emergency situation. I've never had an emergency. It sucks having to walk to a call box if you break down. My car hasn't broke down, and we don't have call boxes. You say you like to surf the web, well we got some phones that let you surf the net. That isn't a very compelling feature. What if you need to talk to somebody you know? I would get in my car and drive to their house and talk to them, and maybe bust out the nachos.
Then his buddy jumps in with questions like he thinks his questions will help sway me to the dark side.
He asks me about needing to call my girlfriend to have her come over and do my laundry. I forget how I dodged his question.
He then asked me how often I use the phone.
I say not often only when I really need to.
Whose phone do you use.
My fathers'.
So you live at home?
Kinda, I'm not required to be there though.
OH, so your dad is a sorta Biological dick?
Uhh... sure.
Just like my dad!
... Well guys its been great-
Wait, we haven't signed you up yet!
I don't WANT a phone.
We have great low minute plans, as low as 30- no- 20 dollars a month!
If I needed a phone with so little minutes wouldn't I just buy one of your TOGO phones?
Hmm, you could, but those minutes are pre paid and expire.
But, I would only buy minutes if I NEEDED them.
But they expire.
Your normal plans charge me regardless if I use the phone or not.
Paul's buddy then says "Brent".
"My name is Brian".
"Ryan".
"BRIAN!". I forget what he said after that, but then I ended the conversation saying "Hey, thanks for the info, if I ever need two phones, I'll be sure to come back and buy them here." Paul then gives me his business card, but he had to write his name on it, because it was a generic card, but he said "Here's my card". I take it and leave. I then proceed to the Cingular wireless store, but I thought against it and moved on.
I went around looking for sandles, journeys sucked though because the employees called me surfer dude as soon as I walked in. Their shit is expensive too. It also is kinda embarassing when you have to take your shoes and socks off to see if a sandle fits you, because it seems like sock shedding brings all the boys to the yard. Damn I never seen so many homps lookin' my way at once. I then went into a Buckels (I think thats the name) and found awesome sandles all the way in the back of the store, and I was starteled by their gay employee, but I just smiled and nodded. Seriously he popped out of nowhere, and asked me some strange question. Nothing against gay fellows, but they come off a little strong sometimes.
From there I went over to bath and body works and asked a hot asian chick (who worked their) for a candle that smelled like the ocean. I got the last one. She seemed really nice and had a great smile, she asked me for my ID when I paid with my Credit card, and she said wow is this you, you have no hair in this picture. I said yeah that was a while ago, she said my hair was 'hot'. She gave me my bag and said "we're hiring right now so if you're interested in working here, I put an app in your bag".** I'm gonna stop and post this now, and come back and finish it after a break.
It's saturday: I slept in very late, not realizing that Saturday was my only full day of my vacation at the moment, but once my eyes focused on the clock in the guest room did I realize I was wasting my vacation sleeping; On a floor no less (no extra bed, it was in storage). My shower was way better than any of the ones I've had here at home. The water pressure was just blissful, it almost stung it was so strong. Didn't feel like shaving (thus the scruffy picture), and my mother made pancakes. I do enjoy being cooked for, and pancakes are a personal favorite of mine.
Lets skip this and go straight to the car ride to the mall.
So its my mother me and sis in the car.
ok... lets skip the car part. To the mall.
We're there. So here is the first dilema, mom wants to buy me some stuff, but I'd rather go buy my own stuff and not be nagged into buying anything I don't really want. Second dilema, mom says that since I don't have a cell phone (she seems to be peev'd by the fact that I don't have nor want a cell phone) we can't get seperated or we won't find each other for a while. So not even 5 minutes into our mall visit I find it impossible to actually get my mother out of JC Penny's then it hits me really hard, why the fuck am I shopping with my mom and acting like I can't go where I want to. So I wait outside for her to stop looking at things that we didn't come to the mall to look at. So I take off and leave on my own. Leaving mom to her own mall voyage.
First stop for me was the sharper image store. Man, this was lame sauce to the second power. Their obvious attraction was their assortment of massagers and massaging chairs. Oddly enough every single one of them were occupied by women. This raises an eyebrow, as I wonder just how much 'fun' these women are having in these massaging chairs. There were a few younger girls in that store too, with much distastefulness they were shouting out "it tickles my butt". I made my way as far back as the store would allow to escape their jovial shouts of their chirapsia encounter. I came across a Tetris game, and decided to give it a shot, but this version was very lacking. All it had going for it was the tetris music. I was finished with this store and I then decided to move onward.
Then their was a period of activity that I totally forgot but during that time I ran into my mom and sister again. So we walked together for a while but once again my mother insisted on entering a store that I could not and was not willing to follow her into. I approached a spencers, with halloween decorations all over the place, but this little spencers was crammed full of people and I was not willing to fight a crowd just to browse their shit. So I sat outside of the Macys in a very comfy chair. My freaking legs were getting sore already, I couldn't believe it. So I took about a 20 minute rest, and decided to watch the ladies. I think ever girl who was semi attractive was on their cell phone. That makes sense though, I mean who is going to wanna call the ugly girl's cell phone. Then my sister sits down near me. She says she lost mom in macy's. Cool beans, so we waste time just sitting their, and I was wondering where I was going to find some sandles/flip flops (whatever you want to call them).
I then decide to go over to the T-mobile booth in the middle of the mall and look at their phones. I was quickly greeted by an asian fellow by the name of paul, and he asked me if I was buying a phone. I told him I was just interested in looking at the phones and that I didn't really want one. He then started asking me questions, obviously he was trying to find something in my answers to grasp onto. I wasn't having any of that. While I looked at the phone I answered his questions. I said I don't call anyone, but my boss and thats only if I can't meet him. So he asked a few more phone questions then I noticed he started to block my view of the phones with a book/brochure of some sorts. So not having any way to look at the phones or see their prices I had to play his game his way. I'm desperately trying to remember the questions he asked me (I would have killed for a tape recorder for this conversation). He asked me if I had friends and family I wanted to call, and I said "not really". He then said "You don't have any friends"? "Yup, that's right, I don't need em" was my reply. I didn't think this would leave him much room to work with, but it seems like he had a very complete script in his head that he needed to play out. He then asked me if I had a "significant other" instead of saying "girlfriend", but hey this is California,I guess he was just thinking progressively. I said, "fuck that, noise", he when said "word". I didn't understand what either of us was really saying, but somehow I knew no matter what either of us said it was going to move us on to another question. Then he leads in with the comment that "I could check to see if you qualified for a phone, if you had a credit card". I then told him that I indeed have a credit card. He seem a little stunned like he lost his place in his script and was trying to back up. He asked me if I wanted to see if I could be approved for a phone, I said I didn't want to sign anything and didn't want to recieve offers, phone calls, emails, or a bill. He assured me it was nothing more than a quick credit check of sorts. So I fill out his little form and write my name horribly , so he would be unable to pronounce it, but then he asked me to please print my name, which he then quickly read and proceeded to use for the rest of the conversation. He then asked me to step around to the side of the counter. Ok time for a paragraph.
Wow, what an improvement, I moved a whole 90 degrees to the right of the booth. He then asked me if I liked to surf as he was typing in the information onto his computer. "Oh hell yeah, I love to surf" I replied. He then asked me "where do I go to surf". I paused, "Well I enjoy my own computer and internet connection, but if I must I'll use a library internet connection". Paul then looked at me and said "oh, no. Not that kinda surf". "OHH, no way man, what the hell do I look like some kind of a beach bum"? Silly me though I was wearing my Laguna Beach Surfing t-shirt, but dude my skin is so pale, I'm whiter than an egg, no surfer could ever be so pail unless they wore a body suit 24/7. "Hey ! Congratulations! Guess what?!" said paul. "..." said I. "You've been approved to have 2 phones". "well isn't that cool, if only I wanted a phone". replied I. He then told me a bunch of information which I wasn't listening to because I was staring at this japanese girls ass. I saw the girl bend over and I said "Dayum! ('damn' incase I spelled that wrong)" and paul said "I can tell you're excited about this". huh wha? Oh yeah, excited. He then tries his selling tactics, like he thinks he has closed the deal on me. We had a little back and forth conversing.
How many minutes can we sign you up for? Dude, I don't want a phone. It's very useful in an emergency situation. I've never had an emergency. It sucks having to walk to a call box if you break down. My car hasn't broke down, and we don't have call boxes. You say you like to surf the web, well we got some phones that let you surf the net. That isn't a very compelling feature. What if you need to talk to somebody you know? I would get in my car and drive to their house and talk to them, and maybe bust out the nachos.
Then his buddy jumps in with questions like he thinks his questions will help sway me to the dark side.
He asks me about needing to call my girlfriend to have her come over and do my laundry. I forget how I dodged his question.
He then asked me how often I use the phone.
I say not often only when I really need to.
Whose phone do you use.
My fathers'.
So you live at home?
Kinda, I'm not required to be there though.
OH, so your dad is a sorta Biological dick?
Uhh... sure.
Just like my dad!
... Well guys its been great-
Wait, we haven't signed you up yet!
I don't WANT a phone.
We have great low minute plans, as low as 30- no- 20 dollars a month!
If I needed a phone with so little minutes wouldn't I just buy one of your TOGO phones?
Hmm, you could, but those minutes are pre paid and expire.
But, I would only buy minutes if I NEEDED them.
But they expire.
Your normal plans charge me regardless if I use the phone or not.
Paul's buddy then says "Brent".
"My name is Brian".
"Ryan".
"BRIAN!". I forget what he said after that, but then I ended the conversation saying "Hey, thanks for the info, if I ever need two phones, I'll be sure to come back and buy them here." Paul then gives me his business card, but he had to write his name on it, because it was a generic card, but he said "Here's my card". I take it and leave. I then proceed to the Cingular wireless store, but I thought against it and moved on.
I went around looking for sandles, journeys sucked though because the employees called me surfer dude as soon as I walked in. Their shit is expensive too. It also is kinda embarassing when you have to take your shoes and socks off to see if a sandle fits you, because it seems like sock shedding brings all the boys to the yard. Damn I never seen so many homps lookin' my way at once. I then went into a Buckels (I think thats the name) and found awesome sandles all the way in the back of the store, and I was starteled by their gay employee, but I just smiled and nodded. Seriously he popped out of nowhere, and asked me some strange question. Nothing against gay fellows, but they come off a little strong sometimes.
From there I went over to bath and body works and asked a hot asian chick (who worked their) for a candle that smelled like the ocean. I got the last one. She seemed really nice and had a great smile, she asked me for my ID when I paid with my Credit card, and she said wow is this you, you have no hair in this picture. I said yeah that was a while ago, she said my hair was 'hot'. She gave me my bag and said "we're hiring right now so if you're interested in working here, I put an app in your bag".** I'm gonna stop and post this now, and come back and finish it after a break.